Tuesday, February 4, 2014

A Brand New Scale from the Jack Sh*t Labs…

It’s still in the R&D phase, but I’m pretty proud of the features on the new scale I’m designing…

• Has two settings: “Real” and “In Case Anyone Else Is Looking…”

• Foot warmers…. aaahhhh, this feels really nice and… OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!!!

• Buzzing noise that drowns out that maniacal laugh you hear inside your head every time you step on a scale.

• Shoots out fireworks if you register a loss.

• Wifi that automatically sends your weigh-in information to your computer’s trash can.

• Ejector button remote that you can use to hurl a robber into the ceiling if he breaks into your house while you’re there and decides to weigh himself.

• Automatic excuse generator: (“Read that muscle weighs more than fat so I must have somehow grown a bunch of new muscles”, “Blinded by fridge light, I accidentally ate a cheesecake,” “Nobody told me they would be serving wedding cake at that wedding,” etc.)

• Programmed with just a teensy, weensy bit of forgiveness and compassion.

• Built-in cupholders.


  1. Here's a suggestion for when you gain weight...a little high pitched voice, like in "The Fly" that squeaks out "Help Me, Help Me..."

  2. The Business Phone Service have maximum reach ability to the customers compared to most of the marketing medium. They help to establish good rapport with the consumers.



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