Albert: Hey, Hey, Hey…
Jack: Hey, aren’t you…?
Albert: I’m Faaaaaat Albert!
Jack: Uh oh, Al. That’s exactly the kind of negative self recriminations that we’re fighting here at T.O.O.N.
Jack: T.O.O.N. Toons Overcoming Obesity Now; it’s my new weight-loss workshop for overweight cartoon characters. We meet every Monday evening.
Albert: The flyer said there’d be free cookies.
Jack: Yeah, I just put that on the flyer to help with attendance. Here... have a seat and I’ll introduce the others. That’s Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: Good grief... I’m not fat. I just have a really big, really round head.
Jack: Uh huh, and that’s the… well… that’s the Fat Broad from B.C.
Fat Broad: I’m on the Paleo diet.
Jack: And beside her is Cathy.
Cathy: Awwwwwk. I just want to lose 10 pounds before swimsuit season starts tomorrow!
Jack: Whatever. And that’s the Pointy-Haired Boss from Dilbert.
PHB: I thought this was a manager’s seminar.
Jack: That’s Walt from Zits and the dad from FoxTrot. And… okay, who let that damn cat in again?
Sgt Snorkel: Ummmmm, you can’t say “damn”… you need to say “%&;#” instead.
Dithers: I don’t get it; I’ve got an employee that eats these giant
sandwiches and he’s skinny as all Hell… I mean, “#@&%%;”.
Jack: Ummmm… the meeting hasn’t officially kicked off yet, Mister D.
Ziggy: Hey, there’s a little kid in the parking lot keying up all the cars.
Mr. Wilson: DENNNNNNNNIS!
Jack: Where’s everybody going? We need to get the meeting started!
Albert: Hey, is that cat eating lasagna?
Jack: $&%! That’s my supper, Garfield!
Albert: Hey, hey, hey! This is great! Where do I sign up?
Jack: I hate Mondays.