Monday, April 16, 2012

Health Tips Galore!

• Avoid food portions larger than your rear end.

• It’s a bad idea to skip breakfast; it’s also a bad idea to eat an entire skillet of hash browns every morning.

• Make your own fat-free milk by somehow taking the fat out of whole milk.

• Do sit-ups while driving to work.

• Remember not to get up in the middle of the night and eat an entire ham.

• When having carrot cake, try and only eat the carrots.

• One way to find a workout buddy is to always wear a t-shirt that reads “WILL YOU BE MY WORKOUT BUDDY?”

• To keep from getting tempted by the candy at the grocery store checkout line, make your spouse do all the grocery shopping.

• Flavor foods with herbs, spices and low-fat seasonings, not mayonnaise, gravy and buttercream frosting.

• Instead of a banana split, try eating a small green salad.

• Go for long walks on the beach (if you don’t live near a beach, just make tiny little circles in the sandbox).





THE DAILY SCALEY
Lard have mercy!

18 comments:

  1. Down that number goes & you look like one happy camper! :-)

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    Replies
    1. Down, down, down she goes... where she stops, nobody knows.

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  2. HAAHAH!!! All very VERY good advice!

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    Replies
    1. There IS some good advice in there; you just have to pick through it and maybe turn some of it inside-out...

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  3. haha You're so funny! Good job moving that scale down!!!

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    Replies
    1. Well, I have to give the scale a little credit...

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  4. I think you might have forgotten a really important one:
    Replace all spoons with the tiny ones they use to give you ice cream samples.

    :)

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  5. Great job jack. This daily scaley thing is really working.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I invented a brand-new weight-loss system! I'm gonna be rich!

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  6. Jack, you are the king of the daily scaley! Good job.

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  7. This is a really great blog, keep up the good work.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jason. It's a labor of lard... I mean... love.

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  8. That is so funny! I am a founder of one of the best weight loss clinics in Mumbai, India, and we usually change the motivational poster in our clinic once a month. Do I have permission to include these lines that combine humor and advice on our next poster of the month?! Pleaaase? with organic honey on top!

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    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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