Health Tips Galore!

• Avoid food portions larger than your rear end.

• It’s a bad idea to skip breakfast; it’s also a bad idea to eat an entire skillet of hash browns every morning.

• Make your own fat-free milk by somehow taking the fat out of whole milk.

• Do sit-ups while driving to work.

• Remember not to get up in the middle of the night and eat an entire ham.

• When having carrot cake, try and only eat the carrots.

• One way to find a workout buddy is to always wear a t-shirt that reads “WILL YOU BE MY WORKOUT BUDDY?”

• To keep from getting tempted by the candy at the grocery store checkout line, make your spouse do all the grocery shopping.

• Flavor foods with herbs, spices and low-fat seasonings, not mayonnaise, gravy and buttercream frosting.

• Instead of a banana split, try eating a small green salad.

• Go for long walks on the beach (if you don’t live near a beach, just make tiny little circles in the sandbox).

THE DAILY SCALEY

Lard have mercy!