• To get more sleep, try going to bed the night before.
• Organization is the key to a stress-free morning, so go alphabetize your spice rack RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.
• Main benefit to early morning workout is that it's fairly easy to convince yourself you're just having a bad nightmare.
• You can make your own goose down pillow by filling a pillowcase with goose down, dumbass.
• Read a motivational quotation every morning (here, I'll give you one for today: "Every minute brings you that much closer to death"... well, hopefully you can find a better one than that on your own).
• Take a baby aspirin each morning to significantly reduce your risk of a heart attack. I'll tell you what, go ahead and take a teenage aspirin, an adult aspirin and a little old lady aspirin, too. You just can't be too careful with all that heart attack business.
• There's no better way to rid yourself of morning breath than a couple of squirts of Fabreze Hawaiian Aloha fabric refresher.
• Instead of a depressing newspaper, let's start the morning by reading one of our favorite blogs *hint hint*.
THE DAILY SCALEY
Call me Puddin Tame, hopped on the scale and weighed just the same.