Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Prepare for Take-Off...

Attention all passengers:

Be certain you have stowed your gym bag under a seat or in an overhead bin. Use caution if you’re planning on working out today due to the fact that your schedule may shift because of work, school or family issues.

If you are seated behind a desk, please be aware that you should be prepared to get up and move about occasionally. You should do this without blocking the exit, causing harm to yourself or distracting your co-workers. Cartwheels down the hallway is a good example of something you could do to increase circulation. If you are seated behind a desk and do not wish to sit there, please notify the blog attendant at this time.

Cellular phones may be used at any time during your workout, but please be advised that the person on the treadmill next to you will probably stare at you in disgust if you yak-yak-yak loud enough for everyone in the room to hear your conversation. Actually, I changed my mind: all cellular phones should be turned off and stowed for the duration of the workout. 

Please discontinue the use of all electronic communications at this time, including Facebook status updating, Twitter twittering, LinkedIn linking, Tumblr tumblring, Digg digging, Stumbleupon stumbling and email checking. Smoking is not allowed on any health living plan, and Federal law prohibits tampering with scale during official weigh-in.

To hasten your weight-loss, place the metal tip of the fork onto the proper amount of healthy food, place it in your mouth-hole area and chew slowly. Be prepared to tighten the straps of belt soon so that pants fit low and tight across your hips. During the diet, the “eat right” sign may be turned off from time to time; however, for your safety, we require that you keep your eating plan in place at all times.

If your appetite should increase, take the emergency mask and place it over your mouth, securing with the elastic band and adjusting to ensure a snug fit so that no food can get through. Secure your own mask first before helping others.

 We recommend reviewing all of the health information, which can be found in the passenger health information blog, located in your computer browser. 

To prepare for takeoff, please store your tray table, bring your seat upright, and discontinue the use of all electronic devices (well, you can use whatever device you’re using to read this, I suppose).

We appreciate your attention. On behalf of all JSGF employees worldwide, thank you for flying with us.

And, buckle up… it’s gonna be a crazy ride.

One more cute pic to distract you while I wrap up 
long weekend with my wife Anita. I missed you, scale (NOT). 


  1. Im a miserable failure at social networking. Family & friends text pics to my phone and I actually call them back and leave a *gasp!* voice message! Dinosaur....no tweets on my minute to minute glamorous life, no facebook updates.....Im so square.......*sniff*....

  2. Once again, Jack, your humor blesses those of us working to lose unwanted weight or manage the weight loss we've enabled. Do you employ humor professionally, outside your blog? You certainly have the "gift". In regards to your post today - your humor reminds me of my commitment to make my exercise fun! And to move as often as possible, such as taking stairs instead of an elevator. Thank you.

  3. LOL...I love it! It sure will be a crazy ride :)



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