Sunday, July 11, 2010

There Is No Happy Ending

Weekly weigh-in: 209.9
Loss: -0.0
Total loss: -82.1
Emotion: Just a little P.O.'d

I don’t always feel like I’m on my game, don’t always feel like this journey is the sure thing I want it to be.

I hopped up on the scale earlier this week and was up nearly two and a half pounds, and that's after logging a particularly miserable weigh-in number the week before. I stood on the scale, grimaced into the mirror and cursed myself out mightily.

I swear, some days I really do wonder if I have any business writing a weight-loss blog…

Then I knuckled down and I ratcheted up the intensity of my workouts. I sharpened my focus on my food, really concentrating on what I stuffed down my goozle. I drank water as if I were part-amphibian.

That’s the infuriating part of this entire affair: I know exactly what it takes to enjoy success on this journey, and sometimes I don’t do it.

We know it.

And we don’t do it.

We know it.

And we just don’t do it.

I pulled it together and worked my way back to even-steven for the week, which I can’t for the life of me figure out is a success or a setback.

Maybe it’s a little bit of both.

There is no happy ending to the tale, because apparently this is a never-ending story, full of twists and turns, dotted with kinks and knots.

No happy ending.

No ending at all.

And I’m perfectly fine with that.

Game on.


  1. "That’s the infuriating part of this entire affair: I know exactly what it takes to enjoy success on this journey, and sometimes I don’t do it." - Yep - once again you could be speaking for me. And about that weight loss blog business... I thought this was a "much needed dose of comic relief for those of us bogged down by the whole diet thing" blog.

  2. Never ending, for damn sure. This was good to read as I head off for my Sunday morning WW meeting. This week has been full of twists and turns, as I'm sure the scale will reflect. But I still wake my @ss up at 6 in the morning every Sunday to head over there and get my smack in the face. Do I love it? Not always. But it's part of my life now. And I want it to keep on going, so I keep on going. Bad weeks are a part of life. Keep on going.

  3. From one part-amphibian to another, your being fine with that, that is the happy ending. You get that, and as long as you believe that the you'll continue to get and be healthier.No matter what the scale said this particluar week. Now off I go to another lillipad - ribbit.

  4. It is very frustrating when we know what to do and don't do it. That pretty much sums up my last year. As you will see in my post today, I quantified my gain in the past year and I was surprised to see it was higher than I thought. I am back where I need to be at WW meetings. And it's all good because we both still have MUCH MORE significant losses than gains. And we know what to do. And we will do it.

    Your blog is one of my favorites, I would say you definitely have some business writing a weight-loss blog!

  5. That is a success!!! You are a great inspiration!!

  6. "No happy ending. No ending at all."

    What a perfect way to put it!

  7. So true.
    It's all a journey and if there were an end/when I hit the end---well, I wont wanna be THERE I dont think either.

    We just have to keep on keepin on as it sure as heck beats the alternative of not being here!

    and I adore how this post is so transferable to myriad things in life as well.

    today my focus and need to keep on isnt fitness---but the post still applies.

  8. LOVE that...No happy ending at is a life changing beginning each and every day!

  9. If you want I can think of at least six excuses for you. Like, stop letting the cat look over your shoulder when you weigh. And reminders like: donuts look like zeros for a reason.

    Considering how far you've come and the change in mindset you've undergone - you know to start taking action now and not when you creep back up to 215 - shows that whatever the number on the scale, you're doing great. So keep yourself in gear.

    Oh and don't fall off that treadmill desk.

  10. Hey, Jack...

    I gotta ask. What is your goal weight? I mean, I look at you and think "he's in maintenance range". Are you struggling because you're already at optimum weight? I mean, you look pretty darn good to me.

    I wonder at times if we don't get so wrapped up in the whole weight loss mindset that we don't know when/ where to stop.

    You know, sometime's it's not the climb. Sometimes it IS what's waiting on the other side. Once you get there, if you don't live it, what's the point of the journey?

  11. I just realized something...I mean, I think I realized it before, but wasn't conscious of it...I NEVER want to reach my "goal weight."

  12. I would be making that check mark in the SUCESS BOX if I were you. If you had not tried, a gain might have been what you faced. Good job Jack! :)

  13. I think that realizing that it's a neverending journey and that there WILL BE setbacks means you are a success! I've NEVER reached a goal weight, and I know it's because some days I wonder why I bother because it's too hard to be held accountable all the time. It's easy for some people to be fit and eat to sustain their weight their whole lives, but I think for those of us who have been overweight, it's a lot harder because we were never hardwired to eat normally, and that's why we got fat to begin with. Just keep remembering how FAR you have come already!!

  14. Darn it just posted a comment that didn't take :( I'll try to remember what I said. This post speaks volumes to me. I know for me now life is about trying to make myself feel better mentally. Sometimes that is a meal that isn't always the healthiest or a drink or two or a climb up a mountain or a 5k run. I think we need to start just thinking about living happy instead of the scale. I definitely said this all better the first time but oh well.

    As for blogging I think you make it a happier place and I would very much miss your humor and your heart felt comments.

    In my book Jack you are a huge success everyday!!!

  15. ... just accept that sometimes a 0-loss is indeed a positive thing, in some circumstances! You clawed your way back to that 0 during the week, took action, took charge, so = WIN!
    Take heart and keep up the good fight :)

  16. You saw a gain earlier this week and took evasive action, so I would definitely say a success! You're so right about this being never ending.
    Hope you have an easier time this week!

  17. I don't know if I necessarily agree with "it never gets easier."
    I think there's a huge difference between how I feel now as opposed to a few weeks into my lifestyle change.
    It never gets "easy" but I think it does indeed get "easier." A subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless.

    Just so you know, you wrote this on my blog a couple of months ago. These are not my words, they are yours.
    I agreed with this quote before and I do now.

  18. "We know it. And we just don’t do it." This not only speaks to screams.

    Keep at it Jack...put on your vigilance cape and give your weight hell this week!

  19. Indeed. We know it, and we just don't do it. Why is that?

  20. I've been there Jack. And I guess I always ask myself, what' the alternative? GIVE UP? Throw in the towel and gain it all back? I think not. We just keep doing what we're doing (I mean the good stuff). Keep fighting the good fight. You can do it, man.

  21. Success because you are aware & always get back to doing what you need to do instead of just giving up. You are in this for the lifelong journey. I don't think there is an ending for me.. a work in progress always BUT there can be a happy ending in that you keep fighting & keep it off!

  22. I think wondering whether you're the right guy to write a weight loss blog means you ARE that guy. I don't want to hear from someone who NEVER struggles - that's not real life, at least not for me. I want to hear from the bloggers who are finding a way to keep going, never give up, and ultimately succeed in SPITE of difficulties and obstacles. Who share how they got over, around, or through those challenges. THAT is valuable to me. So great job erasing the gain and now? Keep going what you need to do!

  23. I must say, in finding you recently & now reading regularly, you seem to have an enviable ability to calm your inner chaos. Screw the weight loss -- teach me that!

    Because of your gritty tenacity, I am recommitting to trying to kick my last 10 lbs. or so. What the hell. I got a start last week, during record high temps, when all I did was sweat & drink. Lost my appetite due to bloat. Accident 3 lb. loss. Gotta love that as a jump-start! So I'm joining your ranks. I have so little to lose... in the literal & figurative senses :-)

    Nose to the grindstone, both of us!

  24. I think this whole thing can run on cycles for me. I always want it, and I always know what I need to do, but I don't always follow through. I always manage to straighten my vision out before much time passes but the guilt lasts much longer and has a larger impact on my journey then my day or two of screwing up.

    I'm trying to pick up a better attitude about it, but I need to (as the above commenter said) keep my nose to the grindstone too!

  25. Your blog is so inspiring to me. Your words and experiences make me realize I'm not the only one going through this krep.
    btw, I've named my 'bad Wayne', she's 'naughty Natasha'. Now that she has a name maybe I can beat her ass. :-)

  26. Jack, don't beat yourself up about not always making the right choices even when you know they're right. Everyone does it. Especially when it comes to something that's basically a drug at times. I made some pretty stupid choices recently that made me feel so bad about myself, so stupid, all because I needed the drug. I've stopped now, but I'm still asking myself why I didn't listen to those around me, listen to that voice inside my head, all telling me to stop.

  27. There is no end, there is no's a circle. That is why I allow myself higher calorie days and occasional treats. But have a limit on all my other days. It's why I calorie count and why I plan on doing it for the rest of mylife. I was willing to do that when I started. You are going to have ups and downs. It's okay Jack. Don't become 'too big to fail' or you'll start hiding things and that can lead to failure.
    You'll be fine. just make tomorrow a good day. No gain, no loss= Jack wins.

  28. "I know exactly what it takes to enjoy success on this journey, and sometimes I don’t do it."

    Uh, yeah...I've been struggling lately, but I will not let these struggles overtake me. Just move forward today..that's all we can do now.

  29. Glad to hear that you struggle too, my problem is exercise at the moment - I know what I need to do - it is the doing that is the problem. Or the fact that I'm not doing is the REAL problem. I know that in order to maintain my weight I need to exercise for an hour each day at a moderate level. That is a workout for 30 mins and a 5km run (plus incidentals). So I just need to adjust and refocus and do!

  30. I am so glad that Stages of Change mentioned your blog. I am just starting my journey over again after gaining back almost a hundred pounds. I look forward to reading you blog often.



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