You're parked in the Plateau Zone.
Well, as my Grandpa Noah always told me, “I'd rather light a candle than curse the darkness,” so I've come up with some ideas that could help you jumpstart your mojo and get you back to your losing ways...
- Take up a hobby, such as “Not Eating.”
- Write short little sentences on your bathroom mirror, such as “You rock!”, “You can do it!” and “REDRUM”.
- They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so make all three of your meals breakfast.
- Wear smaller pants under your regular pants, and under those? Even smaller pants.
- Draw a big “L” on your forehead to remind yourself that you’re trying to lose weight.
- Consider getting a haircut, especially if you have really heavy hair.
- Take the stairs instead of the elevator… no wait… shimmy up the elevator cable instead of taking the stairs.
- Do twice as much exercise as you currently do; for example, if you’re currently doing none, then twice that would be… ummm… carry the one… waitaminute… that can’t be right… zero times two is still zero?... okay, that was a bad example…
- You know who gets a LOT of exercise? Those crazy dudes that get naked and streak across the field every so often at ball games.
- Instead of a five-pronged fork, try using a four-pronged one. That's
20% less prong.
- There're a ton of calories in those snacks at the stadium. Consider
taking your own food, such as a portable
Fry Baby and your own corndog fixin's.
You rarely see an obese hobo, so consider riding the rails for a few
- If you’re a woman, pilates class is a good place to work on your flexibility and core strength; if you’re a man, pilates class is a good place to go watch stretchy women.
- Once a month, eat only what you can hunt down and kill in your own backyard (note: I have some really good recipes for “dog” I can pass on…)
- A fun way to get more exercise is to combine two different sports, but be prepared to get yelled at by irate old farts if you decide to take up “golf bowling”.
- Write your goal down in PERMANENT magic marker.