Friday, February 26, 2010

Writin' Diet-y

video
I'm Sorry, Chamillionaire and Krayzie Bone

They see me bloggin’.
Commentin’.
People they clickin’ to catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
I’m eatin’ so good.
I'm losin’.
Losin’ so much, it’s got me writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.

When I started I was way too fat,
Was just obese and that was that.
Had been on lots of diets, but they all went splat.
Got a good start but then they all fell flat.
Would get crazy when I’d whiff an aroma.
Spent time when I was all alone-a,
Eating til I was ‘bout in a coma.
Grew to the size of Oklahoma.
Girl y’know, I was inna size triple XL.
Had less muscle than a baby snail.
Groaned every time I stepped up on the scale.
Well, why am I such a bloated whale?
Spent most days buyin’ more snacks for us.
Shopping for the next-size-up slacks for us.
It’a subject I sure didn’t wanna discuss,
My ever-expanding gluteus maximus.
Sorry, but I was a hungry bloke,
Eatin’ til I was about to choke.
Three times as much as regular folk.
Wash it all down with a Diet Coke.
My whole body was takin’ a bruisin’
From the way I was constantly abusin’.
You’re laughing right now but it wasn’t amusin’.
Cuz I spent my life confused but still not losin’.

They see me bloggin’.
Commentin’.
People they clickin’ to catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
I’m eatin’ so good.
I'm losin’.
Losin’ so much, it’s got me writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.


Then it all got mysterious,
How I took this sh*t and got serious.
Had to figure it out on my own, solve the riddle of the great unknown,
Work my fingers down to the bone.
Time to get back in the gym again, thin the skin, my friend, begin again if I can again.
Doin’ a hundred sit-ups as I huff and puff,
Cough a lung right up, it’s amazing what happens when you give a f*ck.
I got a barbell–10 lb size, 40 oz water bottle between my thighs.
Gonna be hard, I know you know, yo.
But I’m gonna finally find my mojo.
I gotta get back to the basics.
Almost dead doin’ what the trainer said, I got do squat squat shots til I hurt a lot.
Oh gee, I hope my PT don't see me, trying to flee.
She looks at me like I’m strange at times, when I bust the rhymes.
Gets aggravated, heart rate elevated when I pay with nickels and dimes.
But I’m keeping at it, and I’m feelin’ strong, and I feel like I’m back where I belong.
Getting’ back lean and getting’ back fit, back to bein’ proud to being Jack Sh*t.

They see me bloggin’.
Commentin’.
People they clickin’ to catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
I’m eatin’ so good.
I'm losin’.
Losin’ so much, it’s got me writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.

Ten months in, feelin’ thin, found the healthy man within.
Knocked one layer off my double chin.
Bloggin’ my journey to let folks know, their lives don’t have to be filled with woe.
Tell ‘em they gotta learn to walk before they take off flyin’.
If it don’t happen this week, well, keep on tryin’
Less food fryin’ and more complyin’.
I’ve hit my goal, you can hit yours’, too.
Ain’t nothin’ stoppin’ you but you.
Drop the excuses and make your move,
Cause you got something more to prove.
Time to take this journey to a higher plane, get on track with this weight-loss train
I think I can, I think you can, too… time for those pounds to go down the drain.
I'mma get after you then I'mma laugh with you, cuz we’re gonna get fit, coo coo ka choo.
Take our fat pants and tell ‘em we’re through.
Take our tent shirts and say “F YOU TOO!”
We’re taking back our health, takin’ back our lives.
Gonna stay fit til the end arrives.
From a fat duckling to a stately swan.
Sleep easy knowin’ that it’s a brand new dawn.
And when we wake up, we wake up knowing that this sh*t is on!

They see me bloggin’.
Commentin’.
People they clickin’ to catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
Wanna catch me writin’ diet-y.
I’m eatin’ so good.
I'm losin’.
Losin’ so much, it’s got me writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.
Look at me–I’m writin’ diet-y.

23 comments:

  1. Not often i am the first commenter!

    What to say, what to say?

    Well, I like it. I am a fan of this tune!

    Ummmmm...

    Jesus, I have nothing!!!

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  2. This is crunk!!!! I don't see no grill tho, my brotha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm not much of a writer but I've been eatin' diet-y lately.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow I have seen it all now!!! Glad to know you can rap when needed!!

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  5. Hilarious, I rarely comment, but this takes the proverbial cake, Jack. What an awesome begining to the weekend.

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  6. lol, this is a good one. I swear I don't know how you keep coming up with this stuff. Thanks for always keeping it fresh and new! :)

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  7. ha ha!!!!!! I needed a laugh today, so THANK YOU.

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  8. Jack, Jack, Jack you so dope :-)

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  9. I wish never hear this song again the same way! Awesome.

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  10. Happy Friday Jack!

    Thanks for the words, the thoughts & the laughs. :)

    Have a good weekend,
    Lynn

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  11. wow Jack...this was a long song for you to do! lol uumm you got some broccoli in your grill man. lol

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  12. Thank you! I've been think bout this track all week for some reason ...

    and weird Al ain't got nothin on ya!

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  13. I love it when you get all gangsta'.

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  14. Hoooo! Fresh! Or is that fresnizzle? LOL

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  15. We’re taking back our health, takin’ back our lives.
    Gonna stay fit til the end arrives.

    YES!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Fat pants with stretchy waist bands, they suck, they cause us to put off our weight loss until it's a friggin emergency.

    Secretia

    ReplyDelete
  17. Free Acai Berry trial really worths, you should try it too

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wahahaha! My sisters should see your version of this rap song. Personally, I like your version better.

    ReplyDelete

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