Thursday, February 4, 2010

MAD SO MAD


ME AM SO MAD.

SO MAD ME AM FUMING.

SO MAD ME AM SPUTTERING AND SPITTING.

SO MAD ME HAVE FORGOTTEN BASIC RULES OF GRAMMAR.

SO MAD ME HAVE HIT SHIFT KEY SO HARD THAT IT AM WEDGED DOWN THROUGH THE KEYBOARD AND INTO THE DESK.

MADDER THAN A BOX OF FROGS.

MADDER THAN A ONE-LEGGED WOMAN AT IHOP.

MADDER THAN A GUM TREE FULL OF GALAHS (THAT’S FOR MY AUSSIE POSSE…WHATUP, AMERICANS OF THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE!).

MAD THAT I SQUANDERED SO MANY YEARS SOFT IN THE HEAD AND MUSHY IN THE MIDDLE.

ANGRY THAT I RISKED MY HEALTH AND WELL-BEING BY BEING STUPID AND WEAK-WILLED, FALLING INTO WHAT WAS FAST AND EASY, AND IGNORING ALL THE THINGS THAT I KNEW AT THE TIME WERE HUGELY IMPORTANT.

FURIOUS THAT MY LACK OF GUTS LEAD TO A LOAD OF GUTS.

I’M MAD, MAD, MAD.

“What are you so mad about?” asked my wife Anita, carrying a bundle of old board games under her arm.

“WHAT?”

“You’re sitting there gritting your teeth and pounding on the keyboard,” she said. “And what have you done to the “shift” key?”

“NOTHING.”

“Let me guess: you’re sitting there being angry because you didn’t lose this weight five, ten, twenty years ago, right?”

“MAYbe,” I said.

“Look honey,” she smiled. “You just gotta realize stressing about the past isn’t important, necessary or good for you. You need to let go of all those unhealthy emotions just like I’m letting go of all these board games that have been cluttering up the hall closet.”

“You’re throwing away ‘Trouble’?” I asked incredulously.

“Well, somebody busted the Pop-O-Matic bubble…”

“Pisa and I needed the die out of there for another game,” I explained. “I think I can fix it if I can find another die… and figure out some way to make a clear plastic bubble… waitaminute. You’re chunking MOUSETRAP!?!”

“I’ll tell you what,” she said opening the box. “If you can build a mousetrap out of this plastic boot, six marbles, some pick-up stix, two toy penguins, a Monopoly car, three checkers and half a deck of cards, we’ll keep it.”

“I couldn’t make a mousetrap when the game was brand new,” I admitted sheepishly “Whoa, Pisa’s gonna be mad that you’re throwing away ‘Pretty Pretty Princesses’.”

“You’re the one that liked ‘Pretty Pretty Princesses’!” exclaimed Anita.

“It always made me feel so pretty.”

Anita rolled her eyes, shook her head and hauled her armload out to the curb.

Maybe she was right. Maybe what's important is not clinging to the failures of the past, but embrace the challenges of the future. That I continue to be there for the people who continue to be there for me. Let go of the anger, and forgive myself for my own shortcomings while not forgetting so that it won’t happen again.

You can't change your past, so there's no reason to be mad about it.

I may not be able to build a mousetrap, but I suspect I can build a bridge.

Build a bridge and get over it.

49 comments:

  1. Good stuff, Jack. It IS hard not to dwell on how much time I lost and how much damage I did to my body in the process (loose skin, etc)...but doing it now is better than not doing it all. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh Jack! your wife is one smart cookie!

    Don't be mad at the past, embrace the future! you have done amazing, and living with regrets is no way to live.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You sure are MAD....as in CRAZY!

    But, you're a smart cookie, too. And by cookie, I mean an organic, fiber filled, low fat cookie ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nicely put! Must be in the air. I have been thinking these same things. Certainly not in the way you put it but it helps with the perspective! Thanks Jack

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow - that pic is kinda scary. But you're right: there's no point in my being angry with my past. It's a better use of energy to channel it into making sure I don't make the same mistakes again.
    Thanks for pointing that out and making me laugh at the same time - I thought I was the only kinda person who'd bust the Pop-O-Matic bubble to get the die out!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hadn't even thought about being mad that I hadn't lost weight before now. But now that you mention it......I'm pretty angry too!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think we should all hold hands now and sing the Judds classic "Love Can Build a Bridge." Or cumbaya.

    Here's to never looking in the rearview mirror with regret. Keep your eyes on the road kids!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is a fantastic post. I love how relevant it is to EVERYTHING, not just having "waited" to lose weight.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your wife is very wise! (Ok, you too.) I have played that same game (no pun intended) in my mind... if only I had started this diet back then, if only I had not eaten crap for the last 4 months, if only...

    I love this post!

    ReplyDelete
  10. :) Love it.. defnitely can't change the past.. but we can make the future what we want!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are married to a very smart woman. And for the record, my dad never let me have Mousetrap. He said there were too many pieces.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great post Jack....very well put. It applies to SO much more than just weight. If we can put the bad stuff of the past behind us and move on...wow. This is one of my favorite Jack posts!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Build a bridge and get over it....

    That's going on hubs mirror...in red lipstick...

    Thanks for the brain food today

    ReplyDelete
  14. You wouldn't have a bridge-building board game, would you? A book? A diagram? OK, OK, I'll draw my own diagram.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dude the way you blend real life emotion and experiences with humor and wit is truly unique. Thank you for a great read!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Spoken so true once again. We can't change the past so we all need to a build a bridge and get over. Now if it was only that easy!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. A bridge over the past leads to the road that is our future. Thanks, Jack!

    Secretia

    ReplyDelete
  18. LOL!!! "Madder than a box of frogs" is my fave line.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sometimes I just want to cry because I was so fat I was incapacitated for part of my children's lives. You can't get that back! But you're right, it doesn't help to be mad or sad about it. Just fix it and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  20. oh.. very good. i think it's the failures of the past (and present) that I'm ALLOWING to hold me back from embracing the future.

    thanks Jack. you rock as per normal Hope the shift key gets fixed. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Amen! We are born anew every minute of every day. Let's celebrate.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Amen to building a bridge and getting over it. Just remember, maybe you could have done it earlier. But you also could have waited another decade before you woke up and smelled the coffee. NOW is the only time that matters anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  23. True that!

    Anita rocks! Make sure you tell her I said that;)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Very well said Jack per usual. It is never too late to make positive changes in your life and we are here to prove it CAN be done!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm glad you have a wife that keeps you from exploding. And that you've moved on to the acceptance phase after your anger. Or, that you're trying to.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Awesome post! And funny how weight grows on you like not letting go of that old stuff...yikes...hoarders of weight! Yucky!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I liked this one.
    Very clever.
    Very good message.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Very astute Jack!! I know we'll all have those thoughts when we get to where we're going!
    However, you're right. Build the bridge...

    ReplyDelete
  29. Absolutely terrific!! Just what I needed today! Leave it and forget it!

    ReplyDelete
  30. WOW!! What a great post. I love what it advocates: Letting go of the emotions that keep you where you are in order to open up for what can be.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Great post as always. For me it just makes the success feel all that much better. It's all newness to me and that feels TERRIFIC!!! Some days I feel like I'm 5 again *smile*. I bet you've always been 5 Jack, we got to look at those positives lol.

    ReplyDelete
  32. That's on of those pieces of advice that is right on and yet still sometimes hard to follow. Every now and then I think about the what if's?

    It doesn't change a thing about the past...but sometimes I still do it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Exactly. Letting go is really exhilerating. I think it drops a few pounds, too, to let go of the baggage. :) At any rate, I felt lighter.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Seriously man, I don't see hide nor hair of you all week and yet you come out of hiding at the mere mention of a cheerleading uniform. All men are pervs.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. So you feel like a thinny thinny princess now? :o)

    ReplyDelete
  36. Haul it all out to the curb, Jack.

    I know JUST how you feel (about the wasted years - not the board games. Totally agree with your wife on that one).

    ReplyDelete
  37. Im over being "trapped" and have slowly been building my bridge, inch by inch.........

    ReplyDelete
  38. it so easy to look back in regret and get caught up in our own self-pity, as my gran used to say, the past is past no good dwelling on it, live for the now cause that's what you have control over... or words to that effect. great post as always Jack

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ahhhhh - much, much applause for you - standing even. That was a fantastic, greatly timed post - thanks for sharing it.

    I'm gonna share it on my bloggy, ihavethanksforyouverymuchness

    ReplyDelete
  40. Shoulda...woulda...coulda...haven't we all been there. I often think how I WISH I'd have lost the weight when my kids were young. How THEN I would have sat at the beach with them through the summer...not embarassed of my thunder thighs bulging from the elastic leg of my bathing suit (when I even dared to wear one). I wish I would have been more active with them. I wish....well, truth is I wish a lot of things, but all those wishes aren't going to change the past.

    Now I'm wishing for the day I can run a mile. When I can play a game of frisbee with my daughter. When I can do the things "normal" people do.

    That's building my bridge. Thanks for sharing!

    -B
    www.dairyofasoontobeskinnygirl.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  41. MADDER THAN A ONE-LEGGED WOMAN AT IHOP

    HUH???

    ReplyDelete
  42. Scarey Pic, Great Post. I live for the 33kg skinnier woman I am today, not the woman of yesterday. You rule.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Think of it this way...
    one more minute spent regretting the past is a minute you don't spend enjoying now and your future.
    Don't waste anymore time.
    Live.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Well as long as she didn't throw out the Hi-Ho Cherrio! :) Great post, as usual. (oh, and try to control the temper, it's bad on the blood pressure, ya know!)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Yeah, holding on to the past is not good. But being able to bring up without being affected is a good thing, too. Helps remind you of the things you have learned.

    ReplyDelete
  46. and therein lies the reason husbands should ALWAYS listen to their wives!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails