Wednesday, February 10, 2010

More Ways to Jumpstart Your Mojo


  • If you can’t afford to join a gym, a simple way to make sure you get your workouts is to find some way to break into the place in the middle of the night and do your workouts in the pitch-black darkness. Silently sneak out before the doors open in the morning.
  • Make healthy food more desirable by eating it with a jewel-encrusted fork.
  • If you weigh yourself in the nude, try weighing yourself even nuder, if you know what I mean (if you do know what I mean, would you mind explaining it to me?).
  • Track not only the food you eat during the day, but also the food you do not eat.
  • Convert your living room into a sweat-inducing sauna by turning the thermostat to 130°.
  • To get more vegetables in your diet, fill your bathtub with sod and start growing zucchini squash there.
  • Two words: sleep sprinting.
  • To save time, work exercise into everyday activities. For example, don't use a cart when you're at the grocery store. Just get one item at a time, pay for it and take it to the car. Four or five hours later, you'll be done with both your workout and your grocery shopping!
  • To remind you to drink more water, wear a garden-hose necklace.
  • An easy way to get in some extra walking is to run out of gas in your car.
  • Cut out your mid-weigh-in snack.
  • Remember that you're not restricting the foods that you love forever... just for the rest of your life.
  • They say that wearing too-tight clothes can keep your focused on your diet, so start wearing toddler outfits from Gymboree.
  • If you’re gaining weight, cut that sh*t out.

40 comments:

  1. I think I am going to try the garden hose necklace!! Thanks for the good tips!! Oh, and I've been trying to follow your blog "officially" but either blogger is messed up and won't show the follow option, or it's my computer...most likely my computer as I'm in the market to get a new one asap!!

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  2. I think you should market and sell the gem encrusted cutlery. I would buy it!!

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

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  3. I'm so going to start buying my groceries one item at a time. Why didn't I think of that?!?!?

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  4. Ummm...I think the last one applies to me. Am cutting that sh*t out right now.

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  5. I'm going to ask for a diamond studded garden hose for Valentine's day, thanks for the idea Jack :-)

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  6. To get to look at cute toddlers clothes sounds great!! I may have to look into that..lol It would cut the price down to.

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  7. Yeah, I'm thinking the last one is all mine (she says, contemplating the three cakes she baked this past weekend...)

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  8. You are too funny! Hey, no need to break into my gym in the middle of the night. It is 24 hours! YAHOO!

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  9. Sleep Sprinting! Now I wish I had thought of that! Jewel encrusted forks are the future I can just see it now...

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  10. The grocery store one is my favorite. With 2 teenagers, I'm in their every stinking day as it is...maybe I need to drag the proccess out even further. Lol...

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  11. I wonder if your doctor shakes his head in confusion when you go for your visits......LOL

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  12. I think I already do the sleep sprinting thing...I mean, how the hell did I get to work today?

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  13. RE: "try weighing yourself even nuder, if you know what I mean (if you do know what I mean, would you mind explaining it to me?)."

    I think you meant neuter(ed). That would help. At least a couple of ounces for both sexes. Of course, that might mean a bit of a different process ...

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  14. I go to 3 sometimes 4 stores to get all my groceries...does that count? :)

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  15. My favorite:

    "If you’re gaining weight, cut that sh*t out."

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  16. Man, I love your blog and your humor. This is humor, right? ;)

    My favorite: "Remember that you're not restricting the foods that you love forever... just for the rest of your life."

    And there are so many other that are hilarious! Thansk for the morning laugh.

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  17. I want this jewel encrusted fork you speak of...know where I can get one?

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  18. The one that made me laugh the hardest:

    Remember that you're not restricting the foods that you love forever... just for the rest of your life.

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  19. :) Thanks for the tips.


    Ha ha ha - my clothes were too tight, that's what started me on this whole thing!!!

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  20. Could you take a picture of you Bedazzling eating utensils to show us how it's done? That would be funny...thank you. :)

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  21. Good tip on the mid weigh-in snack!

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  22. Don't you worry, my fork is BLINGING!!!!!!

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  23. I also tryed eating and drinking only water and ice, it lasted a few hours last summer while I was wearing my bathing suit, lasted until I left the pool!

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  24. I'm nuder-ed, just like you said!
    NOW you understand, yes?

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  25. Jack,

    I just nominated you for an award. Check out my site for details. Congratulations!

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  26. Uh-oh, if I've got to start logging the food I don't eat, I'm gonna need a new notebook.

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  27. Now I could get down with that jewel-encrusted fork idea!

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  28. OMG! I actually know someone who does their grocery shopping like that! She uses a shopping basket but will make two or three trips back to her car to help get in more activity.

    That's so funny that you actually wrote about it!

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  29. Thank you! Made me giggle at work :p

    Though I actually agree that eating with fabulous cutlery and crockery (not actually jewel encrusted!)makes food taste better!

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  30. yah I need that garden hose necklace too, but as much as Id love the jewel encrusted fork I doubt my budget could cover it! Best idea, breaking into the gym at night & working out in the dark. Free, and completely mirror-avoidant!

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  31. I would like a jewel-encrusted fork. Have you ever considered opening "Jack's Sh*t Shop"?

    "...start wearing toddler outfits from Gymboree." Bwahahahahahahahaha!

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  32. The grocery shopping thing is an epic win! I might try it. Hahaha. Just kidding.

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  33. Fab.

    I reckon my hubby would be interested if I figured out the nuder than nude thing..

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  34. I'm loving the garden hose necklace!

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  35. You are F*ing hilarious!!

    Speaking of bling-tastic utensils...has anyone seen the new knives/forks & spoons with weights on them now?? I think they weight 1.5 or 2 lbs and they look like little dumbells but with cutlery at the ends of them....HILARIOUS!

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  36. You'll have to explain the nuder one to me too. Love it! :)

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