Total loss: 93.5 lbs.
The Bible describes Hell as a place of darkness, sorrow and torment. “Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matthew 22:13).
I don’t mean to belittle the concept of eternal damnation, but 1.5 pounds? What the fat?
My cranky ho-bag of a scale did me incredibly wrong this week. I mean, I stepped on and my eyes went all Bugs Bunny ahhhooooooogggaaaaa!!! I did a double-take. I did a triple-take. Five takes later, it was still the same.
A pound and a half.
A postcard from the dark side.
A flaming bag of poo left on my front doorstep.
Sixteen teeny-tiny ounces away from the exit door from Onederland.
There I go, thinking I have The Minus Touch, where every weigh-in shows a health-affirming loss. Where every trip to the scale ends with a happy dance and a high five for the dude in the mirror.
This was the biggest gain I’ve had in 45 weeks on this weight-loss roller coaster. What’s my takeaway from this crappy week?
- Grapes aren’t calorie-free.
- Water doesn’t drink itself.
- Small decisions can have a big impact.
- If you generally only go out to eat once a week, and you go out twice this past week, that’s twice as much as you normally do.
- When's the last time you didn't clean your plate, bozo?
- When you’re cooking something, and you eat a dozen bites… ummmm, something clever here about how that’s not a good thing.
- You probably should “work” during your workout.
- My good habits aren’t necessarily as ingrained as I’d like to think they are.
But that's over and done with, just like seeing that number on the scale.
I’m going to kick it old-school over the next seven days (just as soon as I Google “kick it old-school” and see what that actually means).
I will make a plan and I’ll stick to it. I’ll hit the gym with a renewed ferocity. If it takes counting calories, then by God, I'll even count calories.
This week, I’m gonna bring it… and I expect to bring good news on my next weigh-in.