Thursday, May 8, 2014

Healthy Gifts for Mother’s Day

• Bouquet of prunes

• Gift certificate for free spotting as she bench presses 200 lbs. 

• Low-fat perfume

• Running slippers

• Lap dance from Richard “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” Simmons

• Candle that smells like gym bag

•  Bottle of diet wine

• Squash-of-the-Month Club membership

•  Yoga mumu

•  New scale (trust me…. Mothers love this gift)

•  Low-sodium bath salts

•  T-shirt that says “ASK ME ABOUT MY SON’S BLOG”


  1. I have been harassing my mother all week with gift suggestions from magazines for Mom. Its all send Mom skydiving or buy her a bike helmet with a camera or an iron. She is already threatening to cancel the event and this list might just put her over the top.

  2. I think a nice pair of spanx is always a good gift.

  3. What if I got my mom all those gifts already and she still wants more? A new vacuum for liposuction?



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