Friday, June 29, 2012

Take This Job And Shove It Full of Health

• One way to make your office vending machine more healthy is to put chewed up gum in the coin slot.

• Put a mannequin dressed like you behind your desk and go work out for four hours.

• Don't brag to me about riding your bike to work unless you pedal it up the stairs. Come on, slacker!

• It might help you lay off those donuts in the break room if you pretend that they are loaded with fat, sugar and completely empty calories.

• Instead of going out for drinks after work, encourage co-workers to get in some stress-relieving exercise by taking part in Parking Lot Fight Club.

• Replace your desk chair with a unicycle.

• You can make yourself drink more water during the work day by having "drink lots of water each day" written into your job description.

• If you can't talk management  into springing for staff gym memberships, ask them to install a moon bounce in the conference room.

• Bathroom stall yoga.

• Get IT Manager to turn off filter that blocks time-wasting sites like Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit.

Shine on!


  1. I've thought of moving my cubical into a pool, and then swimming during conference call. Thing is I fear that if I did that I wouldnt be able to decide what I'd wear to work on casual dress day.

  2. Parking lot Fight Club - LOVE IT!! Awesome job on the loss.

  3. moon bounce conference room! Love it. :D

  4. ...or you could get a HUMAN Healthy Vending machine :) Clearly I'm not impartial (since I work with them), but it's better than putting gum in the coin slot, ya know? ;) [and definitely better than bathroom yoga. No OMing on a toilet!]

  5. So, how many of these have you actually done? I'm particularly curious about the unicycle.



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