• Put a mannequin dressed like you behind your desk and go work out for four hours.
• Don't brag to me about riding your bike to work unless you pedal it up the stairs. Come on, slacker!
• It might help you lay off those donuts in the break room if you pretend that they are loaded with fat, sugar and completely empty calories.
• Instead of going out for drinks after work, encourage co-workers to get in some stress-relieving exercise by taking part in Parking Lot Fight Club.
• Replace your desk chair with a unicycle.
• You can make yourself drink more water during the work day by having "drink lots of water each day" written into your job description.
• If you can't talk management into springing for staff gym memberships, ask them to install a moon bounce in the conference room.
• Bathroom stall yoga.
• Get IT Manager to turn off filter that blocks time-wasting sites like Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit.
THE DAILY SCALEY