Wednesday, June 27, 2012

50 Shades of Fat

CHAPTER ONE

I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror. Damn my fat ass, and damn Katherine Karbanaght for buying all those cans of Pringles and leaving them in the pantry. Did you know that one Pringle chip has almost ten calories? I ate 30 in one mouthful one time. One time? Ha!

I go to take a chair but can barely sit. My bottom is still stinging and sore from what Ricardo did to me last night. I’ve never felt such exquisite pain, never knew a man could take an hour and stretch it out to eternity. From the moment my feet were strapped in, I knew I was his…

Indifferent... barking orders. He was so stern, so demanding… insisting that I do whatever he requested, just like he always does. Ricardo!

I stand and rub the backs of my legs, still remembering the violent pleasure of our experience together. I have begun to crave the sweat, the torment, the absolute torture that my evenings with Ricardo bring me.

I must have more.

Tentatively, I dial the number of the gym...

“Hi, is Ricardo leading another spin class tonight?”


THE DAILY SCALEY
To quote Bruce Springsteen, 
"I'm going down, down, down, down, down..."

16 comments:

  1. Mike has informed me "that" burns 50 some calories depending on the time it takes and I'm not talking spin class lol.

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    Replies
    1. Actually, "that" burns over 1,000 calories (providing you do it on an elliptical while carrying kettlebells).

      Delete
  2. You have me curious as to what mysterious necter you are drinking from the Head's vessel?
    Nice job on the loss!

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  3. Of course this book would HAVE to "come up" in your posts! ;-)

    YES for that scale weight!

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  4. HAHAHA! Wonderful! I did my own 50 shades of grey style post a couple weeks back. you gotta check it out!

    http://thedandybandy.blogspot.com/2012/05/sweet-sweet-nectar.html

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  5. Great job on the daily scaley!

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  6. Congrats on the weight loss. As for the 50 shades, all I can say is my oh my...when is the next installment!

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  7. Ha! Fantastic! This, in many ways, is far better than Fifty Shades could ever be.

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  8. hahaha! oh i love it!
    you must post more of jack's 50 shades-

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  9. Hee hee... I can see the making of a novel here. You can release it as an eBook!

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  10. Mwahahhaha you're the best :)

    ReplyDelete

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