• "Roses are red, violets are blue, after working out, let's go screw."
• "I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two…"
• "Hey, want to come to my “Mono is Gone-O” party?"
• "Just call me 'Milk', because I'll do your body good… and like milk, I came from a female. Were you aware that all cows are female? Therefore, when you are drinking milk, it always comes from a female and you will never have a male cow. Male 'cows' are called bulls, dumbass."
• "Hope you took your Flintstone chewables today ‘cause I’m gonna make your Bedrock."
• "Why don’t you come over and watch me do some squats?"
• "Would you like tickets to the gun show? No, I’m not going to show you my biceps, I was trying to ask you out on a date to the gun show, but now this is incredibly awkward…"
• "How much does a polar bear weigh? Between 885 and 1350 lbs for males and from 450 to 675 lbs for females. Hi my name is…"
• "I may not be the best-looking guy in here, or the fittest, or the richest, or the smartest, or the best-smelling, or the one who drives the nicest car, or the best dressed, or the funniest, or the... I forgot where I was going with this...”
• "Nice snatch! Man, that would have been better if you’d be working out with a kettlebell…"
THE DAILY SCALEY
The Daily Scaley has been suspended while
my wife Anita and I kick it in New Orleans this weekend.