Some More Fitness Center Pick-up Lines

• "Wanna sit on my lap while I do the rowing machine?"

• "Roses are red, violets are blue, after working out, let's go screw."

• "I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two…"

• "Hey, want to come to my “Mono is Gone-O” party?"

• "Just call me 'Milk', because I'll do your body good… and like milk, I came from a female. Were you aware that all cows are female? Therefore, when you are drinking milk, it always comes from a female and you will never have a male cow. Male 'cows' are called bulls, dumbass."

• "Hope you took your Flintstone chewables today ‘cause I’m gonna make your Bedrock."

• "Why don’t you come over and watch me do some squats?"

• "Would you like tickets to the gun show? No, I’m not going to show you my biceps, I was trying to ask you out on a date to the gun show, but now this is incredibly awkward…"

• "How much does a polar bear weigh?  Between 885 and 1350 lbs for males and  from 450 to 675 lbs for females. Hi my name is…"

• "I may not be the best-looking guy in here, or the fittest, or the richest, or the smartest, or the best-smelling, or the one who drives the nicest car, or the best dressed, or the funniest, or the... I forgot where I was going with this...”

• "Nice snatch! Man, that would have been better if you’d be working out with a kettlebell…"

THE DAILY SCALEY

The Daily Scaley has been suspended while

my wife Anita and I kick it in New Orleans this weekend.

Even More Fitness Center Pick-Up Lines

• “The TSA stopped me at Security yesterday (flexing)....for trying to bring my guns on the plane.”

• “Yes, this is a unitard. Oh, I’m sorry… I thought you asked ‘Are you unitarded?’”

• “Hi, I’d like to introduce you to Mr. Bulging Bicep… oh yeah… he’s got a twin brother, too. His name’s Arnie.”

• “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you share with me the training regimen you used to attain it?”

• “If you were a president, you'd be Babe-raham Lincoln.”

• “I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away… plus, I just did an hour on the elliptical and I’m feeling a little woozy.”

• “Have you ever done it on a rowing machine?”

• Insert your own kettlebell/snatch line here.

• “How much does a polar bear weigh? Roughly 300 to 660 pounds, according to my research on the internet. Hi, my name is ____________.”

• “Do you believe in love at first squat?”

• “Wanna share a sweat towel?”

• “Dammit, somebody put powdered Viagra in my water bottle!”

• “Hi, do you curl here often?”

• “I know an activity that’s fun and burns 350 calories an hour…”

• “I’d like to present you a coupon for one post-workout hug.”

• “Do you have a Band-aid? Cause, baby, I'm cut!”

• 
“Do these leg-warmers look too ‘Eighties’?”

• “Can I flirt with you while you do your ab crunches?”


• “Don’t go to the zoo today… (flexing) because the pythons are out.”

• “Let's do lunge.”

Fitness Center Pickup Lines

• Is that a Philips DirectLife activity monitor in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

• Do you squat here often?
  
  
• You look especially pretty soaked in sweat.
  
  
• How’d you like to be my special push-up partner?
  
  
• Do you know CPR, because you just took my breath away! Or it may have been that 45 minutes on the elliptical…
  
  
• Can I buy you a vodka and Gatorade?
  
  
• You’ve got my head spinning more than 5 p.m. spin class. which, technically, doesn’t get my head spinning at all.
  
  
• What’s your workout name? Mine’s Master Blaster!
  
  
• I wouldn’t mind spending some time getting to know you better, after you took a shower of course.
  
  
• Nice lats!
  
  
• You’re making me wish I was a rowing machine.
  
  
• My personal trainer said I have to come over and talk to you for five minutes as part of my routine.
  
  
• I’m too flexy for my shirt… too flexy for my shirt… too flexy…
  
  
• What say we head over to GNC for a bottle of human growth hormone?
  
  
• I bet I can guess your weight.
  
  
• How’d you like to come back to my place and sit on my feet while I do sit-ups?
  
  
• That stairmaster isn’t the only thing getting my heart rate up…
  
  
• Wanna feel my muscle?
  
  
• How’d you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?