Friday, March 25, 2011
Sh*tty Weigh-in
Sh*tty weigh-in, my scale’s a dirty whore .
Sh*tty weigh-in, the kind I like to ignore .
Sh*tty weigh-in
I don't believe you,
How could it be ?
A five-pound gain in just one week…
Mercy ...
Sh*tty weigh-in,
Why do you torture me?
Sh*tty weigh-in,
Sting me like a bee .
Sh*tty weigh-in.
I’d like to drop you in the sea.
Run you over in a Humvee.
Wow...
Sh*tty weigh-in, stop crapping on me .
Sh*tty weigh-in, stop bitchslapping me,
Sh*tty weigh-in, can’t you give a break to me?
Sh*tty weigh-in, blah blah blah .
Sh*tty weigh-in, too much pasta .
Sh*tty weigh-in, give a good weigh to me .
Cause I need you, don’t show me scorn .
Come on now baby, do right this morn.
Sh*tty weigh-in,
Just a fat-ass guy.
Sh*tty weigh-in,
Don’t make me cry .
Sh*tty weigh-in,
I'll look away, hey...okay .
If that's the way it must be, okay.
I guess I'll start again Monday .
I’ll put it all together some day.
Wait…what do I see ?
A weight loss there for me?
Pardon me while I shout “Yipee!”
Oh, oh, pretty weigh-in!
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ROFL! What a way to start a Friday. And now that tune with your lyrics is stuck in my head on a loop! Just getting started and already you've made my day!
ReplyDelete"Shitty weigh-in, stop bitchslapping me" is qutie possibly one of the best lines ever written. Nice.
ReplyDeleteLOL!! I'm going to be singing this all day!
ReplyDeleteWell, I had a good weigh in today. Down 1 pound. I was feeling great. Then I went to put my pants on and heard a "riiiippp." Still don't know where they ripped at and didn't have any other work pants... Hoping there are no holes = )
ReplyDeleteAlthough you are allowed to write them, my singing talents are not appreciated in my home. The nerve of some people!!!
ReplyDeleteexcellent ideas---> I’d like to drop you in the sea. Run you over in a Humvee. :-D
ReplyDeleteI think that this just may be my monday morning weigh in theme song.
ReplyDeleteOMG...hilarious. Jack, you need to publish all these posts in a book! It would be a bestseller.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, you are a rockstar of awesomeness. You go guy.
ReplyDelete