Sunday, October 5, 2014

Nosh*tdamas Health Predictions

• A company will market a new miracle weight-loss pill that guarantees success as long as it is combined with a diet that reduces calories and an increased exercise regimen.

 • In the coming years, Nike will release a new running shoe that is 25% lighter, communicates wirelessly with fitness apps and costs more than your first automobile.

 • A scientific study will determine – once and for all – that coffee is good for you… no wait, bad for you… no good… no bad…

 • Chard will replace kale as the superfood that nobody eats.

 • New 3-D printing technology will allow you to actually print your own meals (if you don’t mind eating paper, that is).

 • Wearable tech will peak out with introduction of iThong, which sends a message to your phone letting you know whether or not you should be wearing a thong.

 • Millenials will, as they have in the past three years, continue to tick me off.



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