Monday, March 9, 2015

More Weight-Loss Tips for the Incredibly Rich

• Take off your diamond ring before weighing in; that sucker must be over 5 lbs!

 Have your chauffeur park in the farthest parking space when you’re on your next shopping spree.

 If you’re having Iranian Beluga caviar, from the eggs of an extremely rare albino sturgeon found in the Caspian Sea, try putting it on reduced-fat Wheat Thins.

 It’s incredibly tempting to eat the food that children leave on their plates at mealtimes, so consider packing up your kids and sending them to a very nice boarding school.

 Give yourself $10,000 every time you meet one of your weight-loss goals.

 Make working out more convenient by joining every single gym in your city.

 Not getting enough fruits and vegetables in your diet? Why not try screaming at your personal chef?

 Do arm exercises with any gold bars you have laying around the house.

 Can’t quit drinking champagne every day? Try switching to diet Dom Perignon.

 Positive reinforcement can be a key component for weight loss, so hire somebody to follow you around and tell you how fantastic your ass looks in those jeans.





8 comments:

  1. What about my Rolex Jack, should I take it off?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you sure that's a real Rolex? I mean, it's got a plastic band...

      Delete
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