Monday, March 2, 2015

I Am Mother Goose!

Jaa Jaa Jack Sh*t

Jaa Jaa Jack Sh*t,
Have you any food?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full!
Two fulla veggies,
One fulla fruit.
All to keep me lookin’ good
In my birthday suit
Jaa Jaa Jack Sh*t,
You’re so smart with food.
Yes sir, yes sir,
I’m the good-food dude!

Beer, Beer Go Away
Beer beer go away,
Please don’t fill my Saturday.
Little Jackie’s gotta weigh.
Sing a Song of Six Pounds

Sing a song of six pounds,

A mouth full of cheese;

Eatin’ til you can’t breathe, 

Pants begin to squeeze.

When you finally had enough
Your life began to shift.
When you began to give a crap,
You gave yourself a gift.

Now you watch what you consume
And exercise each day.
The results? They speak for themselves
Just look at what you weigh!

It’s a great thing that you’ve done
You’re wearing smaller clothes.
You’re soaring like a black-bird
On this healthy course you chose.

Diddle Diddle Dumbass

Diddle, diddle, dumbass, my son Jack,

Ate ten 100-calorie snack bags for a snack
That’s 1,000 calories,
If you’re keeping track.

Diddle, diddle, dumbass, my son Jack!

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