Monday, September 22, 2014

More Fitness Tips for the Budget-Conscious

• You can make your own weighted exercise vest by simply using a suicide bomber’s vest (remember NOT to pull the rip cord!).

• You can make housework aerobic by coming over to my house and letting me yell at you to clean it up faster. Faster, dammit, FASTER!

• You can make your kettlebell by welding an iron “C” to a heavy metal ball.

• You can get a half-price gym membership by having a friend that looks identical to you join along with you.

• You can make your own bottled water by filling a bottle with water, dumbass.

• If your work makes you pay for an elevator pass, take the stairs instead.

• Know which foods you need to make certain you choose organic (for example: apples and strawberries – yes, Pop-Tarts – no).

• If you buy a pig to save money on pork products, be sure not to name him Snortimer Pigglesworth. There’s no way you’ll be able to kill Snortimer. He’s too cute!

• Inexpensive wine tastes fine as long as you drink enough of it.


  1. methinks the husband agrees with the wine one :-)

  2. Always good to start the week with a good chuckle! Have a great one

  3. Forget two buck chuck. BAREFOOT wine, I tells ya!

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