• OH GROSS! A bug just flew in my mouth! Oh wait... it was a cookie. Nevermind...
• I'm so hungry I could eat my own
cooking.
• Here's an easy way to remember when to use "your"
and "you're": they're completely interchangeable!
• Some people just can't take de-constructive
criticism.
• Twitter tip: Always refrain from making fun of other peoples' hopes, dreams and fears. THAT'S MY SPECIAL THING!!!!!!!!!!!!
• I am never not more proud that when I successfully include a double negative inside a tweet. #doublenegativeking
• Smiles are all the payment I ever need, which
explains my really crappy retirement portfolio.
• Health tip: If you’re a zombie, instead of brains, why
not try half brains and half cottage cheese?
• Click HERE to read my article "How to Easily Create Hyperlinks". What? It didn't work? Dammit...
• If you don't love what you do, why do it? Oh yeah, because they give you a paycheck. Carry on!
• When the world gives you life, make lifenade.
• Dammit! The guy that was gonna help me convert my blog to a Ponzi scheme took my money and ran off. THAT IS BS!!!
• Happiness is the best revenge (but keying up their car is a close second).
• Health tip: Always... wait, I meant "never"... dammit, I screwed this tweet up and now there's no way to go back and fix it!
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