I'm not saying you've got to... but if you want to, I've got a guest post up over at Win, Lose or Blog.
What am I saying? You've got to go check it out. You've GOT to!
Click me. I'm a link. I swear to God I'm a link. I just don't know why I'm so long. It could have just said "Click here" but no... Jack's got to make a novella out of even a simple thing like a link to a guest post. Anyway... click here.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Last-Minute Weigh-in Tricks
• Praying to God for a good weigh-in is all well and good, but hedge your bets by also praying to Allah, Buddah, Satan, Zeus, Apotamkin and Oprah.• Have a 10-pound bowel movement.
• Hop on when scale’s not looking.
• Squint your eyes when you look at the number.
• Don’t eat any black cat on your weigh-in day.
• Decide on the bare minimum number of teeth you need and have others yanked.
• There’s nothing in the Weight Watcher’s rulebook that says you can’t wear only body paint to your weigh-in. Oh yeah? Well, show me! Show me right now!
• You can easily turn your bathroom into a sauna by hiring a company that turns bathrooms into saunas.
• Don’t do anything that will cause water retention, such as eating salty food, working out right before your weigh-in or getting in a water balloon fight.
• Skip your pre-weigh-in snack.
• Dieticians and doctors won’t tell you this, but you can actually set your scale to give you a lower weight.
• Do you really need both of those heavy, heavy kidneys?
• Take off any tattoos before stepping on scale.
• If you can, levitate just a little at the exact moment of weigh-in.
• If you weigh in weekly, try eating less and exercising more for six-and-a-half days before your weigh-in.
Monday, April 18, 2011
There's Something I Need to Tell You...
I just wanted you to know that I see how much you’ve been struggling lately. I know things have been difficult, but I wanted to remind you of a few things…
One, you’re awesome.
Two, this path you’re on, it’s rough-and-tumble stuff. One day you feel like you’re on top of the mountain, the next you’re rolling back down in a out-of-control somersault. And we both know that the climb back isn’t so much treacherous as it is tiresome. Some days we just get so damn weary with it all…
That said, look at how far you’ve come. You may think it’s nothing to celebrate, what you’ve achieved thus far, but I say every step… every freakin’ step… is worthy of being celebrated.
Three, falling isn’t failing. You’ll have bad days here and there; we all have setbacks that shake our confidence and exhaust our resolve, but I’m convinced that you’re convinced that you know what to do now, and more importantly, what’s at stake. Going back to the way things were simply isn’t an option.
Four, it’s all worth it in the end. I know you question whether that’s true or not, but I promise you that it is. It may seem so far away right now, but every step forward brings you closer to where you want to be.
This is a long journey we’re on; don’t be afraid to lean on your friends from time to time.
And lastly, have I told you lately that you’re awesome?
Take care of yourself.
Your pal,
Jack
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Back on the Change Gang
Loss: -0.5
Total loss: -66.4
Emotion: Steel-willed
One of the lessons I’ve learned on this journey is that anything you do often enough becomes a habit.
Habits that remain in place get stronger and stronger.
It’s a thread that becomes a string that becomes a chain.
There was a time when my life was shackled by bad choices, bad decisions, bad habits.
I broke free and found a better way to live my life. I started eating less, eating better, exercising more.
Each day that I stayed on my path, it got a little easier, a little more ingrained.
What I was doing was becoming habit.
A thread becoming a string becoming a chain.
Lately I seem to have been struggling against the chains I’ve built up for myself. Teasing them, testing them.
Make no mistake, I don’t have any plans to undo what I have worked so hard to accomplish. I know how quickly and completely things can unravel.
So each week I will step on that scale.
Each week I will update that list on the side of this blog.
Each week is a link in a chain that connects me from the person I was to the new life I have forged for myself.
And you are all a part of my chain gang.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
I'm Not W.I.D.T.H.-holding Anything
Got a fresh load of new W.I.D.T.H. (Why I Do This Here) pics this week for two reasons: (1) readers responded to my passionate plea to jot down their reason(s) for their personal weight-loss/healthy living journeys and send them to me and (2) I checked my Spam folder. If (I mean "when) you send me your pic, please be sure to put 'WIDTH", "LOTTERY WINNER" or "PENIS ENLARGEMENT" in the subject line so that it doesn't get snarfed up by my state-of-the-fart spam filter. Email me at jacksh.tgettinfit@gmail.com and be sure to include a blog addy if you want it included.
If you have ever sent me a contribution and I didn't run it, please re-send it. I'm still learning to use email and often throw away important emails thinking they might be from my mother. Sorry about that...
Friday, April 15, 2011
Maybe I’m Not Trying As Hard As I Thought
• Lately, I’ve been spending more on wine than on my mortgage.• Little old lady at the gym asked to use barbells when I was done with them.
• My latest weight-loss manifesto included eleven references to Pop-Tarts.
• I ran a half- half- half- half- half- half- half-marathon.
• Instead of using scale, have started “guesstimating” my weight.
• Replaced 100 nightly sit-ups with trying to stuff 100 Oreo’s in mouth at one time.
• I’ve worn out my Lazy-Boy recliner.
• Last month, watched entire Netflix library.
• Yesterday, I counted watching a Bowflex commercial as my daily workout.
• Thought I was eating fat-free Greek yogurt, but turns out it was Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby.
• Starting driving down to end of driveway to get the morning paper.
• Daily journal just reads: “Blah blah blah blah blah.”
• Counted can of vanilla frosting as a serving of fruit.
• I’m bench-pressing same amount as my friend One-Armed Johnny.
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