Goodbye Moonface

Goodbye fear

Goodbye rear

Goodbye pants too tight for my rear

Goodbye chips

And the Red Stripe beer

Goodbye candy bars

And eating in cars

Goodbye milkshakes

And Goodbye pound cakes

Goodbye Triscuits

And Goodbye biscuits

Goodbye too-little shirt

And Goodbye dessert

Goodbye treat

And Goodbye cheat

Goodbye big body

Goodbye sweet

And Goodbye to the little voice

whispering "Eat"

Goodbye fries

Goodbye eclair

Goodbye junk food everywhere

With apologies to Margret Wise Brown

I Don't Want to Talk About It...

Weekly weigh-in: 219.0
Loss: +2.5
Total loss: -72.9
Emotion: Miffed

Keeping My W.I.D.T.H.'s About Me

  

Jenn @ I Have a Shape... Round

 

Susan @ I Can Be Old Or Fat, But Not Both

Lea @ 5000 Days

Tara @ 263 And Counting

Helen @ Doing a 180

Mrs. Happy Pants @ Mrs. Happy Pants

Fleagirl @ Food Fetish

Brooke @ Brooke: NOT on a Diet!

Andrew @ 100 Pounds in a Year

Allison @ I Heart Change

Marie @ Mousearoo's Mumblings

Hit me with your best note! Email to jacksh.tgettinfit@gmail.com and please include your blog link if you want it included.

Bodfather: More Than What I Seem

Subject #5 in the "Bodfather"
Witness Reduction Program: Billie

 Height: 5’4”
Starting weight: 411 

Current weight: 397
Loss: +3.2

Total Loss: 14.0 lbs.

I was getting a little worried about Billie, the fifth and final participant in my “Bodfather” program. To those just joining us, I’m playing the “Bodfather” to five individuals who’ve agreed to share their weight-loss stories over a six-month period here on JSGF. Since I’m not a personal trainer, dietician, medical doctor or gifted motivator, my assistance is somewhat limited; however, I do provide email encouragement and support and have hooked each of them up with a free Philips DirectLife activity monitor. It’s the least I can do, and I’m always about doing the least I can do…

So anyway…

I knew Billie was having a rough month. While she’s still down from her starting weight, the past few weeks on the scale haven’t been all that kind to her. To Billie’s credit, she’s recognized that some of that is due to her fat-to-muscle transformation.

“I know I've built muscle (my arms are most certainly stronger), and oddly, pants fit that weren't fitting before. But I can tell you this--no matter what muscle I'm building, I still need to see a downward movement on that scale.”

Then I didn’t hear from her for a while. Just like with bloggers, when things go dark, it’s rare that anything positive is happening.

But Billie’s not your average weight-loss warrior. Here’s her message to me yesterday:

How am I doing?? Well, let me just tell you...

This morning's workout:

20 minutes, Treadmill. 2.5-2.6 mph. Upped that incline, 2, 3, 4...man. Nothing adds intensity like incline.

Elliptical: 40 minutes. Incline, 10-11. Resistance: 8-10, RPMS 94-132

I felt VERY STRONG today.

The sun is shining.

I am a ninja.

Not to say that I am an undercover mercenary. What I mean by that, is this:

If you would pass me on the street, you would have NO idea that I just did an hour of cardio, or that I would be remotely capable of doing so. I can barely believe it myself. 

Ninja literally means, "One who is concealed." I think that there are a lot of ninjas running around--those of us that you would look at and assume are incapable or unfit, when really, they are superstars incognito!! 

It reminds me of a hefty guy I saw at the beginning of the Ironman triathlon in Kona a few years ago--I saw him in the water, and I thought, "Oh man, how could he possibly finish?" I mean, this guy was definitely in the Clydesdale category (and I'm not being insulting--it used to be an actual category for this triathlon). The camera panned in on him, and the announcer said something like "...and for some, you wonder why they even came out at all..."  I watched the highlights from the race, and all the jubilant people who made it to the end. The very last shot of the program, was him walking across the finish line with his wife and two young children. =) Ninja!!

I even wrote a haiku.

The sun is shining
I'm much more than what I seem
I am a ninja

Billie, I’m still going to worry when you go into stealth mode on me, but I promise you one thing: I’m not going to doubt you anymore.

One Thin Soldier (The Legend of Billy Jack Sh*t)

Listen, children, to a story

That was written just last night,

‘Bout a blogger on a mission

To make his weight right for his height.



On his blog there was a section
Situated on the side
That included weigh-in numbers,

Starting when he was too wide.
 


Go ahead and eat a salad.
Go ahead and exercise.

 Do it for self-preservation,
You can justify at your size.
There won’t be any friends praising you
.
Come your weigh-in day,

On a bright day a few months later....

One thin soul will have his way.


So the people stoppin' at his blog
Wrote some comments on his site.
Tell him that he can do it,
That his future is so bright.

So he kept on pushing forward.
“With my friends, we’ll preservere.
Eating right and drinking water,
Instead of having chips and beer.”
 


Go ahead and eat some yogurt.

Go ahead and lift some weights.

Do it for a healthy future,

We are redefining our own fates.

There won't be any trumpets blowing

On the day you start.
Check back six months later…

One thin soul has shown some heart.



Now the blogger cries with pleasure,

 “Check the scale! I’m at goal weight!”
And the commenters commented,
Tell him that he looks so great.


Now he looks for other bloggers,
Their weight loss stories, he has read
At every stop, he leaves a comment,

"You can do it" is all he said.



Go ahead and eat some oatmeal,

Go ahead and run a mile.

Do it in the name of fitness,

In the end it’s gonna make you smile.

Keep up with the way you’re going and

Come your weigh-in day,

You’ll be a better person after.

One thin soul is here to stay.


The Rocco DiSpirito/Jacko DiSh*ttio Giveaway

I really hope that this doesn’t sound gay, but I’m hot for Rocco DiSpirito.

No, I don’t mean that I’m attracted to his roguish good looks or that I want to go out dancing with him, though he is a rather attractive man and looks to be an excellent dancer from the commercials I saw when he was on that star-dancing TV show.

No, I’m exhibiting a man-crush on Rocco because he’s helping shatter the stereotype that the only thing men can cook are dead animals charred on the grill. As a celebrity chef and cookbook author, he’s broken new ground for guys who want to show that they know their way around a kitchen. I’d have done it myself, but I can’t find a publisher interested in my proposed cookbook Dishes Too Spicy for Your Family.

In his new book Now Eat This!, Chef Rocco has created a ton of low-calorie versions of favorite recipes, including Chocolate Mousse (originally 455 calories, now down to 145),  Jalapeno Poppers at only 144 calories (vs. the original at 447), Loaded Nachos (down from 880 calories to 341) and Buffalo & Blue Chicken Tenders (at a fourth of their original calorie count).

That’s why I went out of my way to track down Rocco and see if he and I could do a little something-something over here. After all, we’re both celebrities. He’s a celebrity because he’s been on TV and written best-selling cookbooks; I’m a celebrity because I have a warped sense of reality.

Actually, Rocco’s PR team got hold of me and were interested in me running a contest where I gave a couple of lucky readers signed copies of his newest cookbook, which showcases 150 options for eating favorite no-no foods the healthy way. As an added bonus, he even includes healthy tips and ingredient substitutions that will keep you on track towards your healthy living goals.

The only mandatories were that I had to make the contest last a week, had to discriminate against everyone not living in the United States of America and couldn’t reveal that Rocco DiSpirito’s real name is Howard Higgenbottom.



Winning your own signed copy of Now Eat This! signed by Chef Rocco DiSpirito himself couldn’t be easier; simply leave a comment on this post or tweet me (and include “Rocco”) at @JackSht. But you’ve got to do it before Tuesday, February 8th. I’ll pick 2 winners (U.S. Residents only, sorry) to receive the book and announce them a week from today.

If you don’t win the cookbook, rest easy because Rocco shares healthy tips and recipes from both his Twitter account and his Facebook page. It’s like having a celebrity chef cheering you on towards your healthier self!

So enter now and eat the healthy 

Rocco DiSpirito/Jacko DiSh*ttio way!

Tricks to Help You Eat Less

• Eat off a smaller plate, using even smaller utensils, at a minuscule table inside a tiny house.
• Treat yourself to a Hershey's kiss every time you eat 100 celery stalks.
• Always take the first spoonful of yogurt and fling it at your child - (1) over time the calories will really add up and (2) the kid probably did something to deserve it.
• Every time you have a craving for something sweet, slam your finger in the car door.
• When you go out to eat, ask your waitress to bring half of your entree out as an appetizer, serve half as your main course and box up the remaining half for you to have as lunch tomorrow.
• You don't have to finish off that bottle of wine tonight; you can stick it in the fridge and it'll keep at least one more day.
• There's a simple way to tell if your serving size is too large:  it's ALWAYS too large.
• Drink a big glass of water before your meal and then a big glass of water instead of your meal.
• Ask your waiter: "What's your least popular dish?"
• When you're in the drive-thru at a fast-food joint, ask yourself “What the hell am I doing in the drive-thru at a fast-food joint?”
• Yes, it's a sin to waste food but I believe “gluttony” is on the big board as well.
• Chew each bite 20 times (or at least 2).
• There's one guaranteed way to make you eat less:  let me cook for you.