Having My Cake And Not Eating It, Too

I spent a few fabulous days at Fitbloggin’ a couple of weeks ago doing a lot of talking about my blog. About how I started it and why. About what it did for me and why. About how other people’s successful journeys steeled my will to set off on my own voyage.



Like most everything, this site has morphed and mutated over time. Most days it’s just an exercise in weight-loss-related silliness (with a thimble full of wise-ass wisdom so I’m not kicked off the bus).



I’m not trying to apologize for representing the lighter side of this whole tryng-to-get-fit frittata, because I honestly think it’s kind of important to crack a smile when you have a long road in front of you.

It’s not even one of those “you gotta laugh to keep from crying” things either; you just gotta laugh because... well... we’re still here and that, if nothing else, that’s a good enough reason to chuckle.



But all this introspection got me looking at my own story and marveling at the juice this place had when I was rockin’ and rollin’ with my healthy self. There was a time, believe it or not, when this site was slanted more to the “Gettin’ Fit” side of my blogitty-blog’s name than the “Jack Sh*t” one.



So I expect this site to take a slight turn back to what pulled me into this world to begin with. Don’t fret... there will still be plenty of gags and goofs (and probably a return of the Jack Sh*t Players now that our contract dispute has finally been settled), but I also hope... and expect... to see a return to my roots.



I want to see Jack Sh*t gettin’ fit again.

Hell on Wheels - The Official Fitbloggin' Calendar

January

  

Poison Parma

February

 

Shevil Knevil

March

 

Blackout Brandi the Ovarian Barbarian

April

 

Katniss EverMean

May

 

Smack Dani-els

June

Brooklyn Fight Chick

July

 

Lady Problems

August

 

Vulva Las Vegas

September

 

Grave Kelly, Kinky Pinky and Dawn of the Dead

October

 

ClubYa Wife

November

 

Stevia

December

 

Roni Balboa

January

 

Dawn Corleone

February

 

Sin-thia

March

 

Wreck-Liz

April

Jack-Ass

Do not tell me that you missed
last year's Offical Fitbloggin' Calendar!

Special thanks to Fitbloggin' speaker and roller derby enthusiast Jim Doran for inspiring this post and to all my Fitbloggin' buddies who graciously agreed to appear here. Wait... did I remember to ask anyone's permission? Hmmm....

The Best Thing About Fitbloggin...

...is hanging out with friends.

From left to right: Shauna, Karen, Mizfit, Kia, Hank, Leah, Jack, Susan, Kelly, Tara and Monica. And that's just a few of the awesome folks at this year's Fitbloggin.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Making your way in the world today
Can really get you down.

Take a break from all your worries,
Maybe get outta town.



Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go…

Where everybody knows your weight.
And they all still think you’re great.

You wanna hang with your fitness gang,

And maybe go for a jog.

You wanna be where everybody knows

Your blog.



You wanna go where people know,

People are all the same.

Go to Fitbloggin, where everybody knows

Your name.

The Most Interesting Weight Loss Blogger in the World

He has run to the end of the treadmill.

He once ate a bowl of oatmeal without adding a cup of sugar to it.

He has retweeted a tweet before the original tweet was tweeted.

He makes all the tough decisions for Weight Watchers because he can’t stand it when WW CEO David Kirchhoff calls him crying for advice.

He can bench press as much as his pal No-Arm Johnny.

He makes his own Omega-3 fish oil by grabbing a fish, oiling it and adding some Omega-3 to it.

He once lost weight even though he was accidentally carrying his bowling ball during his weigh-in.

He ate Greek yogurt even before the Greeks did.

He is one of the keynote speakers at this year’s Fitbloggin conference.

He is the most interesting weight loss blogger in the world.

THE DAILY SCALEY

I don't always drink beer, but...

that would explain this gain.

My Fitlosophy

I just returned home from Fitbloggin, a gathering of an odd mix of weight losers, healthy living advocates and super hardcore fitness freaks.

I enjoyed getting to meet a lot of interesting folks that I feel like I already knew and even ranalltheway in my first “official” 5K (my plan to take off into the lead and then lead the group in the wrong direction was laid to waste as some of the more accomplished runners finished the run while I was still lacing up my sneakers).

I’ll admit that I was a little bummed out as I listened to a super-fit lady (-4% body fat) discuss emerging trends in exercise. It’s a little bit technical, but here’s the breakdown: everything you’re doing is wrong.

You’d have to be a rocket scientist to really understand the whole deal (dammit… I left MIT two semesters shy of my Rocket Science degree), but it was a trifle disheartening to hear about my workout suckage.

As she droned on about HIIT and carthamasomething, I started thinking about my own Fitlosophy, and I guess it can be boiled down to this:  something is better than nothing.

For a long time, I did a whole lot of nothing. Oh, I got in some exercise from time to time, but there was no rhyme or reason to it. I didn’t work to improve my overall health and I certainly didn’t push myself to any degree.

Now I have goals, even if they’re not always well-defined or working toward specific results. I could be doing better; I’ve spent most of my life doing worse.

I want to replace some of this stubborn fat with steely muscle.

I want to break a sweat running a few miles, not climbing a flight of steps.

I want each day to start with challenge and end a sense of accomplishment (with the cling of a sweat-soaked shirt slipped in somewhere in between).

I want to wear smaller clothes and wear out running shoes.

I want to feel better and feel better about myself.

I want to live fully and age gracefully.

I may not be doing everything perfectly, may not be doing everything in the most optimal manner possible… but I am doing.

And doing > not doing.

Too Hot to Handle, Too: The Other Men of Fitbloggin'

 Dwayne @ The Screaming Belt Loop

Jess "Too Big" Parreca, Jr.

 Alan @ Sweating Until Happy

Bean @ Roni's Weigh

Too Hot to Handle: The Men of Fitbloggin

 January

 

Ben Teal @ Build Muscle, Burn Fat with Middle Management

February

 

Matt @ No Meat Athlete

March

 

Dr. Fitness & The Fat Guy

April

 Scott Stawarz

May

 

Ryan @ Roni's Weigh

June

 

Steve @ Running On Awesome

July

 Sean @ Learn Fitness

August

 Ryan @ No More Bacon

September

Paolo Sambrano

October

 Matt @ The Athlete's Plate

November

 Jim Doran

December

 Jack @ Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit

The Raven-ous

At the Fitbloggin panel where I was a guest speaking this past weekend, the question was asked "Did you ever have a post that you were particularly proud of that didn't get the reaction you thought it would?" This is that post; at the time, just a few weeks into my blogging start, I didn't yet realize that Saturdays were where blogs go to die. I spent a lot of time on this post and was really proud, and then 14 saw it. I promised I'd re-run it today to the folks who attended, so here she be...

Once upon a morning fleeting, I was pondering what I was eating,
Logging in my early meal’s caloric score
I was finally able to finagle, how many carbs were in that bagel,
When suddenly there came a rapping, rapping on my kitchen door.
“'Tis my wife,” I softly muttered. “Returning from the grocery store.
Only this, and nothing more.”

I put down my bread (unbuttered), “Honey, is that you?” I uttered,
“Do you need some help with the groceries that you purchased at the store?”
Then a awful chill shot through me, when it suddenly came to me
That this rapping wasn’t from my spouse returning from the store.
In the window was the blackest, fattest bird I’ve seen before,
And he chirped out: “Eat some more.”

I gazed down at my morning spread, which had not left me well-fed.
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I’m on a diet, (and it appears that you should try it),
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my kitchen door.
Are you some mysterious beast that came from mythological lore?”
Quoth the raven: “Eat some more.”

So I flung open the pantry wide, to find the delicious food inside,
I grabbed cookies, cakes and crackers, then I scoured the shelves for more
Pop-Tarts, pretzels filled my arms: half a box of Lucky Charms,
I laid it all out on the table, rich and tasty snacks galore.
And perched at the window, just beside the kitchen door,
Laughed the raven: “Eat some more.”

Then this ebony bird beguiling (I could swear that he was smiling),
As he stared upon the table laden down with foodstuffs by the score
How did my morning meal turn into something so surreal?
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me why you want me eating, why do you put my will to war?
Quoth the raven, “Eat some more.”

Well, that devil, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
Sitting patiently and waiting right beside my kitchen door;
And he wants to see me cheating, only happy when I’m eating
And he’ll always be beside me no matter how much I ignore.
But my heart and soul are stronger than they’ve ever been before
And I shall be tempted - Nevermore!

apologies to Edgar Allen Poe