Healthy Disney Movie Quotes

“You control your density — you don’t need magic to do it. There are no magical shortcuts to solving your obesity problems.” – Merida, Brave

“Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Fifty laps three times a week is a great way to stay fit.” – Dory, Finding Nemo

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all. And it only has 20 calories per serving.” – The Emperor, Mulan

“Even miracles take a little time. And believe me, honey: getting you down to goal weight is gonna take a little time.” Fairy Godmother, Cinderella

 “The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake. Plus, it’s low in fat and packed with soluble fiber, which helps control blood sugar levels and keeps your bowels moving.” – Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

“My daddy never did eat what he wanted. But he ate what he needed. That’s why he was such a fit and healthy fellow.” – Tiana, The Princess and the Frog

“Sometimes the diet path is not the healthiest one.”

– Grandmother Willow, Pocahontas

“I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince Ass-booboo.” – Jafar, Alladin

“Remember: Always let your conscience be your guide and don’t eat a jumbo bag of corn chips every day”. – Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio

“Reach for the sky! Now reach for the floor! Now do that 100 times!” – Woody Toy Story

 “Keep your chins up, someday there will be healthiness again.” – Robin Hood, Robin Hood

 “What do you do eat things so wrong? Oh! You sing a song! And you don’t wear a thong!” - Snow White, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Kill the Girth

From “The Not-So-Little Mermaid”…



Here I see you,

Sitting there at the buffet.

You don’t got a lot to say,

You’ve just finished eating.

Yeah, you don’t know why 

But now it’s dieting you’ll try 

You wanna kill the girth.



Yes, you want it.

Look at you, you know you do.
It’s possible you can do it, too.

There is one way to find out.

It’ll take lots of work.

Yes, so much work.

Go on and kill the girth. 



Work with me now. 

Sh*t-la-la-la-la-la 

My, oh, my.

Likes his food too fried, 

He ain’t gonna kill the girth.

Sh*t-la-la-la-la-la 

Ain’t that sad?

Ain’t it shame, too bad?

You gonna feel the girth.



Now’s your moment 

Feeling like a big balloon.
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better.
So let’s get to work
And keep up that work
Until you kill the girth.

Sh*t-la-la-la-la-la 

Don’t give in.

You got some strength within.
Go on and kill the girth.
Sh*t-la-la-la-la-la 
Don’t stop now.
Excersise and less chow

Is how you kill the girth.


Sh*t-la-la-la-la-la 

Be so strong.
Listen to my song, 

The song say kill the girth.

Sh*t-la-la-la-la-la 

Music play 

While you work out each day. 

You wanna kill the girth.



You’ve got to kill the girth. 

Why don’t you kill the girth? 

You gotta kill the girth.

Go on and kill the girth.

Tale As Old As Time...

Pants as large as France. 

Big as they can be.

Barely even fits,

Then the rear end splits
Unexpectedly.



Time to make a change.

Small at the very least.

Now that I am focused,

I think I may have noticed,

Booty has decreased.



Never giving up.

Never giving in.

Never eating crap.

Never the last lap;
This race is ours to win. 



Pants not big as France.
Fit me like a glove
Oh-so sweet and fine,
Off-brand Calvin Klein.
Looking great (sort of).

Heading down to goal,
Crappy eating ceased.

Keeping really busy.
Work out ‘til I’m dizzy. 

Booty has decreased.

Keeping really busy.
(Please don’t sue me, Disney) 

Booty has decreased.

Favorite Weight-Loss Disney Movies

• The Not-So-Little Mermaid



• Booty is The Beast



• The Lighter King

• 

Hungr-E

• Snow Whitesneakers and the Seven-K Run



• Car(b)s



• Fatladin



• Slimming Booty



• 101 Affirmations

• 

Pinterestnocchio



• No-Longer-Jumbo Dumbo



• The Fox and the Chowhound



• The AristoFats



• Oliver Weight Watchers Friends and Company

• 

The Overweight Princess and the Blog



• Slimderella



• Mumulan



• Peter Can (vs Captain Hooked-on-Sweets)

• 

Alice in Onederland



• Fit Lady and the Mini-Tramp

THE DAILY SCALEY

Pretty sure this is just water weight; 

I accidentally drank some water yesterday...

Booty and the Beast

Damn, it sure pains me to see you, Jack Sh*t,
Sitting there after a gain.
Don’t you know better than eating Chinese?
Lots of sodium in that chow mein.
There’s no way to lose when you’re eating like that.
Your poundage is still way too high.
Your shirts don’t fit right and your pants are too tight,
And it’s not very hard to see why…

No one snacks like Jack Sh*t.
Drinks six-packs like Jack Sh*t.
Splits a rip in the ass of his slacks like Jack Sh*t.
No, there’s no one around quite as portly.
He’s true that he just ate a ton.
And if he doesn’t change things up shortly,
He won’t have much longer, in the long run.

No one drinks like Jack Sh*t.
Pulls high jinks like Jack Sh*t.

No one has a Twitter feed that stinks like Jack Sh*t.

Check the scale, yes, he’s still inflating.

What a lard-ass, that Jack Sh*t!



Eat five hot dogs,

Eat twelve bags of chips.
Jack Sh*t can’t pull his pants over his hips.

Now… no one diets like Jack Sh*t.

No one writes like Jack Sh*t.
No one works out in sparkly tights like Jack Sh*t.
Oh, his physique is nowhere as lumpy,
Yes, now he’s a workout machine.
Look, his biceps are getting more bumpy.
That’s right!
And every last inch of him’s getting more lean.



No one runs like Jack Sh*t.

Shows his guns like Jack Sh*t.
Has quit eating hamburger buns like Jack Sh*t.

I'm especially good at blog commentating!

Ten points for Jack Sh*t!



When I was too fat, I ate four dozen eggs

Every morning to help me get large.

Now these days I know eating four dozen eggs,

Leaves you roughly the size of a barge!
 


No one jogs like Jack Sh*t
(more like “slogs” like Jack Sh*t).
No one writes such ridiculous blogs like Jack Sh*t.
I use protein whey in all of my smoothie-making.
Tweet it today,

He drinks lite cabernet,

And then tweet it some more,

He lifts weights ‘til he’s sore.

Who’s a super hot mess?

Don't you know? Can't you guess?

Ask his fans and his friends getting fit.

There’s just one guy in town whose weight’s coming down,

And his name's J-A-C-K-
S-H- ummmmmm…

S-H-ASTERISK-T


JACK SH*T!!!