Be Obese


Jackiere:

Ma chere Fatemoiselle,
It is with deepest pride 

And greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.

And now we invite you to relax,
Let us pull up a 
chair as the dining room proudly presents - 

your second dinner!



Be obese!
Be obese!

All your foodstuff cooked in grease.

Tie your napkin ‘round your neck, cherie.

Let the eating never cease.

Soup du jour,

Hot hors d'oeuvres’ll

Help you broaden out those curves.

Try the grey stuff 

So delicious.

Who cares that it’s not nutritious?

Hide the scale, let out your pants.
Grow as large as all of France.

Eat like me and you will never look your best.

Order the whole menu,

Eat it all and then you’ll

Be obese.

So obese.
Be obese!

Jackiere and Chorus:


Maybe not
.
Who can say?

You have a say in what you weigh!

Jackiere:


It’s time to batten down the hatches
And just leap into the fray.

You're not alone
,
We’re right there, too.

And we’ll take each step with you.

No more excuses or complaining
.
Let’s put an end to all this gaining.

I tell jokes! I run miles

With my fellow pedometer-philes.


Chorus:


And it all gets good results

That you can bet

Come on and work your ass.

We’re gonna lose some mass.

Not be obese.

Jackiere:

If you're stressed

It’s exercise that I suggest.




Chorus:

Not be obese!
Be obese!
Be obese!



Jackiere:


Life is so unnerving
,
When your curves are over-curving.
Feel like spit, pants don’t fit when they’re put on.


But, the good old days are still before us...

We can turn from a fat duckling into a swan.

For years we’ve just been stalling,

Eating habits were appalling.

Needing exercise, a chance to move our bods!
If we keep spending all our time being

Flabby, fat and lazy

We’ll soon be dead as Patrick Swayze!


Chorus:


Don’t be obese! Be obese!
Give your life a brand new lease.

When your body’s not so shoddy then you’ll 

Finally know some peace.

With each meal, each workout

You’ll be leaving little doubt
That your healthy future’s showing
.
There’s no telling where you’re going!

Pounds go down, one by one

'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
And we all shout “Congrats” at your big decrease
.
So let’s all get fit together
,
Do our best to never ever

Be obese!

Be obese!

Be obese
!
Don’t be obese!

Tale As Old As Time...

Pants as large as France. 

Big as they can be.

Barely even fits,

Then the rear end splits
Unexpectedly.



Time to make a change.

Small at the very least.

Now that I am focused,

I think I may have noticed,

Booty has decreased.



Never giving up.

Never giving in.

Never eating crap.

Never the last lap;
This race is ours to win. 



Pants not big as France.
Fit me like a glove
Oh-so sweet and fine,
Off-brand Calvin Klein.
Looking great (sort of).

Heading down to goal,
Crappy eating ceased.

Keeping really busy.
Work out ‘til I’m dizzy. 

Booty has decreased.

Keeping really busy.
(Please don’t sue me, Disney) 

Booty has decreased.