I can’t come by and sing you a lovely lullabye with my sweet, soothing voice, but I can offer you some useful tips to help you get a better night’s sleep. Sweet dreams!
• Turn off any sirens that may be going off in your bedroom.
• Some foods may help you fall asleep easier, including cereal, hummus or an Ambien sandwich.
• Getting in a little gentle, restorative yoga before you hit the sack can help put your mind at ease, steady your breath and remind you just how much you hate yoga.
• Don’t bring your electronics to bed, including smartphones, tablets and daiquiri-makers.
• Paint your bedroom wall a tranquil color and do not choose a wallpaper that features giant scary monsters.
• Try not to have a selfish spouse like I do; on cold nights, she always pushes all the quilts over onto my side of the bed.
• Avoid alcohol at night unless you’re celebrating a special occasion such as a birthday, anniversary or you somehow managed to keep your kids alive another day.
Sometimes songs can get in your head, so don’t think about catchy songs like that “Cotton-Eyed Joe” one right before bedtime. You remember: “If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd been married long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?” NOW DON’T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY MORE!
• Getting in sync with your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle—your circadian rhythm—is one of the most important strategies for achieving if it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd been married long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe? DAMMIT!