I can’t come by and sing you a lovely lullabye with my
sweet, soothing voice, but I can offer you some useful tips to help you get a
better night’s sleep. Sweet dreams!
• Turn off any sirens that may be going off in your bedroom.
• Some foods may help you fall asleep easier, including
cereal, hummus or an Ambien sandwich.
• Getting in a
little gentle, restorative yoga before you hit the sack can help put your mind
at ease, steady your breath and remind you just how much you hate yoga.
• Don’t bring
your electronics to bed, including smartphones, tablets and daiquiri-makers.
• Paint your
bedroom wall a tranquil color and do not choose a wallpaper that
features giant scary monsters.
• Try not to
have a selfish spouse like I do; on cold nights, she always pushes all the
quilts over onto my side of the bed.
• Avoid
alcohol at night unless you’re celebrating a special occasion such as a
birthday, anniversary or you somehow managed to keep your kids alive another
day.
Sometimes songs can get in your head, so don’t think about catchy songs
like that “Cotton-Eyed Joe” one right before bedtime. You remember: “If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd been married long time
ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye
Joe?” NOW DON’T THINK ABOUT THAT ANY MORE!
Great, now that damn song is stuck in my cotton-eye head! I also recommend a few Melatonin drops on the Ambien sandwich; it works every cotton-eye time.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter did her dance performance to "Cotton-Eye Joe" last year, in a US cowgirl outfit. Keeping in mind that I am Australian, can anyone explain to me what this song means? What is a cotton-eye? Is it like a glass eye for poor farmers? Where did he come from? Where did he go? How did he stop the singer getting married, and why?
ReplyDeleteahhh the old KEEPING THE KIDS ALIVE coupled with KEEPING THE DOG ALIVE AND ME ALIVE?
ReplyDeletethat one trips me up every night...
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