Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Tips for Dealing with the Flu

• Do not get a flu shot; get a flu prevention shot instead.

• Wash your hands, or at the very least, lick them clean.

• Kids can spread germs by passing around toys, so teach your child to never, ever share.

• It’s hard to tell if infants have the flu because they can’t describe exactly what symptoms they’re feeling, so concentrate on teaching your baby to talk.

• You can prevent dehydration by hydrating, dumbass.

• Throw away used tissues instead of shoving them back in the tissue box.

• When you call in sick to work, emphasize that you’re “really” sick this time.

• Introduce a good probiotic with a minimum 14 billion live organisms (make sure that you count them out yourself; 13.9 billion live organisms is just a waste of everybody’s time). 

• Since influenza infects your respiratory, or breathing, system, you shouldn’t blame the flu if you get nausea, vomiting or diarrhea. You can blame that on my cooking.

• When you begin exhibiting flu-like symptoms, start taking medicine-like medicine.


  1. If only kids were more selfish and never shared all their toys and treats etc. I remember all the swapping we used to do at lunch time!!
    We could prevent so much sickness with a new style of parenting. Speaking as a health care professional too, of course. :D

  2. "When you call in sick to work, emphasize that you’re “really” sick this time."
    Hee Hee I had the Monday flu just this week as did many of my co-workers. It often follows a Super Bowl Sunday!

  3. Why don't you send me your cooking and I will test out your theory personally. You are so welcome!



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