Sunday, November 6, 2011

Prelude – “I Am Going to Italy!”

When it was decided that my wife Anita and I would be traveling to Italy to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, the first thing I did was take a trip across town to visit the old Italian neighbor I lived next-door to while growing up.

Way back, he had told me that when I was ready, he would teach me the Italian language. Hesitantly, I walked up to his place.

“Mister Miyagi,” I called. “Good news! I’m going to Italy!”

“Then let our training begin,” he smiled. “Take this rag and follow me.”

“What does a rag have to do with…”

“SILENCE!” Mr. Miyagi demanded. “If you want me to teach you Italian, you must do everything I tell you and obey without question.”

“Okey-dokey,” I sighed, not sure exactly what I was getting into.

“Now rub this car in tiny circles and repeat after me, ‘La cera sopra, incera fuori.’”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“Wax on, wax off.”

“Hey, waitaminute…,” I frowned. “This is from…”


“What’s that mean?”


“Lemme guess,” I sighed. “After I finish washing and waxing your car, you’re gonna tell me you have a whole bunch of other cars.”

“Where are we right now, Jack?”

“At your Hyundai dealership,” I sighed.

“La cera sopra, incera fuori!” he barked.

“la cera sopra, incera fuori,” I repeated, rubbing the side of the car with the rag while rolling my eyes..

This story isn’t true, but the rest of the accounts of my two-week journey to Italy are 99.4% truthful. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view) I don’t have to make up anything else in order to make this an adventure of epic proportions.

“Man who eat minestrone soup 
with chopsticks accomplish anything.”


  1. Let the adventure begin!

  2. I look forward to reading about your escapades!

  3. I'm scared of going to Italy because I think I'll end up eating ALL their food and lose all my progress... maybe if I went for marathon runner training.. LOL

  4. I'd love to learn Italian - perhaps at an Italian restaurant. The waiter could tell me the Italian names for the food I was eating. And the Italian word for Pepto Bismol.

  5. Actually, Mr Miyagi said "metti la cera, togli la cera" (put wax on, take wax off) I'm sorry to inform you that "la cera sopra, incera fuori" doesn't mean anything in Italian :-)

    Have a nice trip!



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