Mo Mojo!

Dude, you’re pretty soft; haven’t you been working out?

Uh no, I’ve really been slacking.

Oh no, you need a boost; I mean, mo’ mojo.

Ohhh… mo’ mojo.
Cool…

When you want to spur a workout partner (mo’ mojo)

And make ‘em work out just a lil’ harder (mo’ mojo)

To tell a dude how to raise his game (mo’ mojo)

Say ‘mo’ mojo’ so you can fan the flame (mo’ mojo)

Hey, yo man, you got to pump some iron (mo’ mojo)

It’s time to really get them pistons firin’ (mo’ mojo)

Do push-ups til’ your arms are weary (mo’ mojo)

Go joggin’ while you argue with Siri (mo’ mojo)

It’s hard to exercise but you should (mo’ mojo)

It’ll leave you feelin’ hella good (mo’ mojo)

So pack a gym bag so you always ready (mo’ mojo)

You know you love to get hot and sweaty (mo’ mojo)

I admit it I’m a lazy cuss (mo’ mojo)

But I’m gonna do this for an hour plus (mo’ mojo)

And yo, I’m smellin’ just a little foul (mo’ mojo)

Damn, but I forgot to bring a shower towel (mo’ mojo)

I know you hate it when I really stink (mo’ mojo)

Maybe I’ll wash my pits off in the sink (mo’ mojo)

Yeah, man I’m really feeling pumped right now (mo’ mojo)

Are you really feeling pumped right now? (mo’ mojo)

Yo, we should do Jillian’s workout tape (mo’ mojo)
So we can get ourselves in better shape (mo’ mojo)

Man, we should put some focus on our quads (mo’ mojo)

Yo, it’s time to really love our bods (mo’ mojo)

Hey yo I’ve been thinking ‘bout a Zumba class (mo’ mojo)

Hey yo I’ve been thinking about losing some ass (mo’ mojo)

Or we could exercise while we dine (mo’ mojo)

Or do jumpin’ jacks in a line (mo’ mojo)

Or we could go and run a marathon (mo’ mojo)

And when we finish run another one! (mo’ mojo)

Hey yo mo’ mojo but I wanna dress up in spandex

And strut through the gym while I pose down and flex

Yeah mo’ mojo but I wish we lived in Ancient Greece

Enter the Olympics and earn five golds apiece.

Hey mo’ mojo but today I’m gonna get real jiggy

And I love it that I’m not such a too-big biggie.

Those two words have set me free (mo’ mojo)

Damn, it feels good to be (mo’ mojo)

I Think I Can

There was once a not-so-tiny train that thought he weighed too much.

“11,000 tons?” he remarked in disgust at his previous weigh-in. “I’ve got to get back on track.”

So the next day, he chugged 1,000 miles without stopping.

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

But later that week, the scale still said 11,000 tons.

“I don’t get it,” whined the train. “I’ve been working my caboose off with no results.”

The next week, he chugged 2,500 miles, including up a very steep mountain.

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

Weigh-in: 11,000 tons.

“Is there nothing I can do to engineer a loss?” he asked desolately.

“Hello,” said a stranger who was wandering along the train tracks. “My name is Boxcar Jacky and I think I can help.”

“You think you can?” asked the train.

“I think I can,” repeated Boxcar Jacky. “Exercise alone isn’t always enough to lighten your load. Consider consuming fewer calories as well.” 

“I’m a train, dumbass,” exclaimed the train.

“Oh yeah,” remarked Boxcar Jacky. “Well, how’s about we uncouple a few of your cars.”

They did, and the train came in at a svelte 10,500 tons at his next weigh-in.

“Lose weight?” smiled the train. “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

“Great,” smiled Boxcar Jacky. “Now can I catch a ride down the line?”

“Are you kidding me?” laughed the train, taking off down the track. “I just lost 500 tons; you think I want to gain it right back?”

More, More, More Weight-Loss Nursery Rhymes

Jack be Nimble

Jack, be nimble,

Jack run quick.

Jack, run lots

To be less thick. 

Jack jump high

Jack jump higher.

A loss on the scale-

Dude’s on fire!

Please Veggies Hot

Please veggies hot, 

Please veggies cold,

Please veggies on my plate,

Glory to behold.

Some like ‘em hot, 

Some like ‘em cold.

I’ll eat ‘em all unless 

They’re nine days old.

Healthyblog

Healthyblog, Healthyblog,

Keep on keeping on,

Metabolism’s on fire

And your excuses are gone.

Not-So-Simple Simon

Simple Simon met a pieman,

When he was at the mall.

Says Simple Simon to the pieman,

“I’ll take an extra small.”

Says the pieman to Simple Simon,

“You can supersize it for a 25¢ charge.”

Says Simple Simon to the pieman,

“How do you think I got so large?”

This May Be Hard For You to Understand...

Bloggity blog blog blog.

Blippity blippity blah blah.

Blippity bloppity blip blip blop.

Blop blop blippity blop.

Blip blip blip.

Blop blop blop.

Bligitty blogetty bloo.

I may have committed to blogging most every day, but if you’ll read the fine print, I NEVER PROMISED TO MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE!

Updating this site helps keep me focused on eating a little better, eating a little less and moving my old bod a little.

I get something out of blogging here.

Sorry if you don’t.

I Am a Crazy Weight-Losing Maniac!

Ever since 2014 rolled around, I have been in a good healthy groove, eating less than I want and exercising more than I want. 

Some weeks the scale pays me off with a nice loss; some weeks the number is less than impressive. However, I keep on keeping on, because I know that’s the recipe for success.

I hope you’re experiencing some positive developments with your healthy living goals, too. 

All this hard work and sacrifice is a lot more palatable when you’re seeing (and feeling) good results.

On to the weigh-in… and onward toward another good week!

THE WEEKLY PHYSIQUELY

Weight when I first started blogging: 291.5 lbs.

Last week’s weight: 257.6

Current weight: 256.8

Loss: .8 lbs.

Total loss since start of new year: 13.2 lbs.

Goal for coming week: Don’t. Just don’t. 

I Just Realized Something...

...my life has been extremely rich with puppies.

You Can't Spell "If" Without "I"

(with apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If you can keep from snacking when all around you

Are donuts and pizza and big bags of chips.

If you can work out though the machines confound you,

And you keep banging kettlebells across your hips.

If you can take a little control of your eating,

And don’t let your mojo get down to empty.

If you can keep running though you’re blistered and bleeding,

And if you can make your food choices more healthy.

If you can plan – and not make meals that’re crappy.

If you can drink – and I’m not talking about soda.

If you can keep yourself positive and happy,

And not watch TV ‘til you lapse in a coma.

 If you can blog to keep your journey more relevant.

Making you accountable, liable, focused.

Maybe you feel like you’re big as an elephant,

But you’re making good progress, in case you’ve not noticed.


If you can get out and work your poor body,

And focus on getting stronger and firmin’.

If you can stick with it and not think it folly,

You’ll soon look at a mirror without squirmin’.

If you can believe that you really are worth it,

And keep moving forward with confidence growing.

The will that you’ve searched for, you’ll finally unearth it.

You’ll hear the Voice that tells you “Keep going!”


If you can take this life one day as it comes,

And truly give it your very best shot.

If you can finish each day, and hold up both thumbs.

If you really will give it all that you’ve got.

If you can fill your day with purpose,

And keep on pushing ‘til the end
.
The scale will soon give back that surplus,

And you’ll one day be at goal, my friend!