Showing posts with label directlife activity monitor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label directlife activity monitor. Show all posts

Friday, March 4, 2011

My Last Word on the Philips DirectLife Activity Monitor




 This little electronic gizmo changed the way I look at my day-to-day activity.

It’s called the Philips DirectLife activity monitor and it’s about as hard to use as a spoon. I mean, you just stick the doohickey in your pocket (or wear it around your neck) and go.

Every day, or every so often, you just dock it to your computer and it tells you how many calories’ worth of activity you’ve burned. But the device lets you know just by looking at it, through a series of lights, just how close you are to your daily goal.

It’s completely waterproof, so you can swim laps with it or carry it around in your mouth if you want to. The square shape helps keep it from sliding down your throat if (when) you swallow it.

Don’t worry… that happens all the time.

Best of all, the service comes complete with access to a trainer who will answer questions, provide helpful support and even put up with silly emails from users.

What I learned from using it:  my activity comes in large chunks. Long flat lines of coma-like stagnation, followed by an hour-long burst of super-activity, then more near-death stillness, then more explosive movement. As has been pointed out to me, that’s really not an optimum situation, but I don’t have much of a work-around for it right now.

Oh, I’m getting better at getting up and dashing around the office from time to time, parking farther away, taking the stairs (and sometimes even shimmying up elevator cable) and all that kind of business, but blogs and tweets don’t write themselves, dammit!

I averaged nearly 1,800 calories burned every day for the past few months, though it’s taken some 11 p.m. jumping jacks some days to hit my daily goal. I’m not sure I would have been quite so active without the thingamabob in my pocket, so I’d say it did what it was supposed to be doing.

One thing I didn’t think was so super-fantastic about it: it has trouble measuring the intensity of a workout. When I’m pressed for time, I work out on The Inclinator, a treadmill that goes up to a 30° incline. Thirty minutes on that bad boy leaves me a sweaty mess, but the activity monitor thinks I’ve gone on a leisurely stroll.

It also started skewing my workouts a bit. Long walks/runs on the treadmill gave me the most activity bang for my buck, and I almost didn’t purchase the elliptical I wound up getting for my house because the DirectLife dealio doesn’t think much of ellipticalizing.

Now, there is a way to fidget with the website and modify workout results. I got mad one day because a 20-mile bike ride registered about the same as strolling down the driveway to get the catalogs out of my mailbox. DirectLife Coach Jen walked me through a feature that allows you to rename and regauge activity, and it worked like a charm. But I don’t use the feature much because I’m sorely tempted to rename “sleeping” as “speed skating” in order to jack up my activity numbers.

The other downside was that I was spending all my free time trying to hit my activity numbers and started ignoring the strength-training portion of what I’m trying to do. So while I’ve been amazed and impressed with all that this little piece of plastic can do, I’m going to go my own way for a while.

I’d like to thank the fine folks at Philips DirectLife for all the love and support they’ve shown me over the past year, and for replacing my gizmo when I burned one up in the dryer and dropped one off the Empire State Building.

If you’d like to find out more about the Philips DirectLife activity monitor, check out their site right chere.

Full disclosure: I received the use of a Philips DirectLife activity monitor and its subscription service free of charge. The only payment for this review was the promise of a free hug from DirectLife Coach José should our paths ever cross. Let’s pray that day never comes…







All Bets Are Off

They say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas; however this happened in my neighbor Art’s garage, so I guess it’s okay to talk about.



It was the end of a prolonged session of high-stakes Texas Hold ‘Em, and there were only three players still at the table.


“I bet it all,” snarled Sasparilla Slim sullenly. “Plus, I'm throwin’ in the paper to my Chevy Tahoe.”

“I’ll call,” wheezed Witchita Willie, throwing in the deed to his Harley-Davidson as well as a solid-gold ‘Ramblin' Man’ belt buckle.”



I pushed my remaining chips into the pot and started rooting around in my pocket.

“I call,” I said gruffly, tossing my Philips DirectLife activity monitor on top of the pyramid of chips. “Let's see what you’ve got.”

“Full house,” smiled Sasparilla Slim. “Aces over eights.”



“Nice hand,” grinned Witchita Willie. “Almost as nice as this one: straight club flush!”

There was a moment of anticipation in the smoke-filled room, but then my laughter filled the garage.

“Read ‘em and weep, boys,” I chuckled. “Royal flush.”



As I was raking in my winnings, Sasparilla Slim grabbed my arm.



“That's not a royal flush, dumbass,” he snarled. “You've got a three of hearts, a queen of clubs, a seven of diamonds, a Monopoly ‘Community Chest’ card and... what’s that?”



“That's a dern Jiffy Lube coupon,” grimaced Witchita Willie.

And that’s how I lost my DirectLife activity monitor… and next month’s mortage.


Check back later this afternoon for my final, 
definitive analysis of the Philips DirectLife activity monitor.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Breaking In My New DirectLife Coach

A few months back, I was invited to try out the Philips DirectLife activity monitor, an amazing device that turns my pocket into a portable activity monitor headquarters. A key part of the DirectLife program is access to your own personal DirectLife coach. 



Hi Jack,

I hope you're doing well today. I just wanted to check in and see how your activity has been doing over the past few weeks and it looks great! I did notice that your weekend activity has been a bit lower
though. Is there a reason for that Jack?

I ask more out of curiosity because you are still achieving a healthy level of activity on those days, which is great. I'm more interested in the pattern and what is missing on the weekends that you're doing during the week. All in all, it looks very good Jack. Keep working on that frequent movement and let me know if there's anything you need my help with.

Have a great and active day!

Coach Erin


Dear DirectLife Coach Erin,

Is there a reason my weekend activity seems to be a bit lower than the rest of the week? Well, let me tell you a little story, DirectLife Coach Erin…

The story is abut a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air – until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore. “My God, this terrible”,the wave says. “Look what's going to happen to me!”

Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him: “Why do you look so sad?” The first wave says: “You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?”

The second wave says: “No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean.”

You may recognize that story from  Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. I was lounging around reading it this weekend. I was exercising my mind, DirectLife Coach Erin. Brain activity is still activity, or does your fancy device not measure that?

Just remember, DirectLife Coach Erin… when you point a finger at me, there are four fingers pointing back at you (I’m assuming that when you point at somebody, you screw your thumb back in a weird unnatural way, by the way).

Take care,

Jack

Hi Jack,

It's good to hear back and learn more about your weekend activity. Reading is a nice hobby and a great way to exercise your brain indeed, especially if you've found a good book, which it sounds like you have.

As I said, you're still reaching a healthy level of activity on the weekends, so keep that up! If you're interested in ways to make reading more physically active (in addition to the mental activity), I
can give you some tips. Just let me know, otherwise enjoy your book and the exercise that your brain is getting!

Best regards,

Coach Erin


Dear DirectLife Coach Erin,

You think I don't already know what you're gonna say? That I can get somebody to sit in the sidecar of a motorcycle and read a book to me while I run down the street? What about the noise from the motorcycle muffler, DirectLife Coach Erin? Plus, I only have hearing in one ear because I fell through the ice when I was a little kid and we were sledding on the thin ice at Bedford Falls Lake. If my brother George hadn't leaped in to save me, I don't know what would have happened...

BTW, I think I lost some activity when the monitor fell out of my pocket while I was on the elliptical at the gym the other day; the only good thing was that the lady that found it on the floor asked me about it and I said "Oh my God, my pacemaker came out again!" You should have seen the look on her face!

Okay, DirectLife Coach Erin, bring on your activity tips if you want to; my old DirectLife Coach Jen said she was going to send me some activity pointers, but every time I'd open one of her files, it was just more of her crappy pastel drawings of her cat, Chester.

Let's both try to have the most active weekend humanly possible.

Your pal,

Jack

Friday, January 7, 2011

Something Sounds Fishy About This...

I've been giving an extended trial run to the Philips DirectLife activity monitor, an amazing electronic gizmo that can be instrumental in your fitness goals so long as you don't keep putting it in the clothes dryer. The most amazing feature of the DirectLife device is that it comes complete with a lifeline to your own DirectLife personal coach who provides you with fantastic information (or computer viruses... I'm too scared to open email attachments) and encouragement as you make your way on your journey.

 
Hi Jack,

I hope that you have had wonderful new years celebrations and a fantastic time with family and friends over the holidays. I see that you were in touch with Erin and the support team over the holidays - I hope you do receive your new monitor soon and I look forward to working with you again!


Do you have any specific goals for 2011? Your weight target is now past the goal date - do you want to revisit this?


Jen

 

Dear DirectLife Coach Jen,

Let me tell you a story, the story of a little boy.

This little boy went up to his Grandpa Noah and said he really wanted some fish sticks.

“If I give you fish sticks, you’ll be happy for today,” said Grandpa Noah. “But tomorrow you’ll be hungry again.”

“So are you gonna teach me to fish, Grandpa?” I asked.

“Better than that,” the old man replied. “I’m going to buy you a fish restaurant.”

Well, the old man was true to his word and bought that little boy a Captain D’s franchise, and the boy got his fish sticks, plus he learned a valuable lesson about life and about how you can’t just give fish sticks away to all the customers and expect to turn the kind of profit that a fast-food franchise needs in order to stay in business.

The point of my story? Who the hell said my story was gonna have a point?

I guess I’m just trying to say that my goals haven’t changed, my commitment to building on what I’ve accomplished already hasn’t changed and my vow to become the most active man in the U.S. of A. sure as Hell hasn’t changed.

Stand back, DirectLife Coach Jen… because 2011 is gonna be the year the Jack Sh*t Express really gets rolling! WOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Happy New Year,

Jack













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