Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Did You Catch Me on the Today Show?

Lauer: Jack Sh*t, good morning. Nice to see you.

Jack: Nice to see you, too.

Lauer: You've had a busy week. All the headlines, top trending item on Twitter, you resigned your post at the NAAFP… ummm, what does that stand for again?

Jack: National Association for the Advancement of Fit People.

Lauer: Yeah, ummm… we checked that out and that's not really a thing. Anyhow, you started a discussion on fitness and what it means in this country. Did this come as a surprise to you or did you always expect the lid would be blown off your story at some point? The fact that you’re actually pretty much of a lard-ass…

Jack: The timing of it was a shock. I mean, wow. The timing was completely unexpected. As to the second question, I did feel that at some point I would need to address the complexity of my identity as a really fit person.

Lauer: Let me just say, we can't talk about the big picture that you have created without talking about the small picture first. Let me just ask you the question in simple terms again, because you've sent mixed signals over the years—are you a really fit person?

Jack: I identify as fit.

Lauer: You identify as fit. Let me put a picture up of you though, and when you see this picture, is this a fit person, or is that a person who shops in the plus-sized section?

Jack: Well, that’s not really a very flattering angle…

Lauer: Is he a fit person or he Blubber McNuggets?

Jack: I would say that visibly he would be identified as obese by people who see him.

Lauer: But at the time were you identifying yourself as fit?

Jack: In that picture, during that time, no.

Lauer: Ummm… that was this morning.

Jack: Well, at least I didn’t say I was an African-American lady like that other lady!


  1. Hats off to an excellent blog post, you imposter, you.


  3. Identify as fit. hahahaha! you silly man.

  4. So funny Jack! You'll get back to where you want to be.



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