Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Ways to Liven Up Your Workout

I can’t make going to the gym fun, but I can make going to the gym fun! (If you think that doesn’t make sense, then read on, my friend! It only goes downhill from here…)

• Have personal trainer assign you a gym nickname (mine is “Mister Creampuff”)

• Listen to music on your iPod. What? You said you already do that? OH, YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING! GIVE IT A REST!

• Skittlebells (that’s my invention; it’s an ordinary kettlebell with Skittles hot-glued all over it)

• Loudly talk to yourself in your own made-up language

• Make a new friend (using one of my handy, dandy Fitness Center Conversation Starters™)

            - “Look how puffy my muscles are getting!”

            - “Will you be my treadmill partner?”

            - “Hey, wanna watch me do arm curls?”

- “Will you give me an honest assessment of my glutes?”

- “Hey, you’ve got a wireless cell phone.”

- “Check out how ripped I am. Yeah, I mean my pants.”

- “I like to listen to nature sounds on my iPod when I’m on the treadmill; I can almost imagine I’m actually walking outside.”

-  “I think there’s too much ‘ham’ in my hamstring.”

- “You know what would be a cool name for an exercise: ‘The Abdominal Snowman.’”
- “I once had an out-of-body experience on that piece of equipment.”

-  “I’m just curious: what’s your social security number?”

- “Who’s the StairMaster? I’M THE STAIRMASTER!”
- “You know what this gym needs? A Moon Bounce!”
- “Aren’t these workout gloves soft? They’re made out of human skin.”
-  “Excuse me, but what’s a good exercise for your headtoid muscles?”

-  “You know, when I finish my workout, I feel just like a beautiful butterfly.”

• You’ll get a better workout from a highly motivated personal trainer, so before your session, inform her that you just slashed her tires.

• While on the treadmill, carry lit sparklers and hum The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

• Spandex everything, baby!

• When you’re at the gym, pretend that one of the other people there is a murderer. Ask questions to the people around you and see if you can guess who it is (hint: the murderer likes the elliptical).

· Work out in 3-D.

1 comment:

  1. I tried hanging a chocolate bar on a fishing rod in front of the elliptical to make me go faster. Unfortunately I quickly learned to just get off the elliptical and walk around to the front and eat it. I still do it every time, though.



Related Posts with Thumbnails