Friday, December 24, 2010

You'll Go "Down" in History

Jack Sh*t the Lazy Lardass
Had a butt the size of a washing machine.
And if you ever saw it,
You’d wash your eyes out with Visine.

All of the folks around him,
Never commented about his size.
They just let poor ol’ Jackie
Sit there and munch on his fries.

Then one day two years ago,
The big man saw the light.
“Jack Sh*t, with your gut so big,
Chronicle your weight loss on this site.”

Now all the readers support him,
Even when he’s wildly gaining.
Jack Sh*t, the fit-tastic blogger,
Your posts are mildly entertaining!


  1. you're like the robert frost of ass world. happy hohoholidays!

    - Kirsten

  2. Love it! Merry Christmas to you, Anita and the girls!

  3. Love it. But I have to correct you, your posts are MORE than "mildly" entertaining. They're the BEST! Merry Christmas to you and your whole family Jack!!! Hope it's a good one!!

  4. Bravo! Bravo! I bow to your brilliance. Merry Christmas!

  5. Haha! Great festive post Jack! Happy holidays to you and your family! :)

  6. "mildly entertaining?!?"

    More like AWESOMETASTIC!

  7. Yah wayyy more than mildly entertaining. You betcha' washing-machine-butt! :-D

  8. "mildly"? I think you have a typo there and it should be "Your posts are wildly entertaining!"

    Merry Christmas Jack to you and yours.

  9. You know, Jack, you always HAVE reminded me of Rudolph.

    Merry Christmas :)

  10. I was reading this post when I realised that "Frosty the Snowman" was playing in the background. :P



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