Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Bad, Badder, Worstest: Holiday Edition



BAD: You sample one of the Christmas cookies you’re baking.
BADDER: You wolf down all the cookies that don’t come out perfect.
WORSTEST: You sit in the kitchen floor and eat an entire bowl of batter.

BAD: You skip a workout to go to office holiday party.
BADDER: You skip a week of workouts to finish up your Christmas shopping.
WORSTEST: You’ve gone into hibernation.

BAD: You’ve got Advent calendar with Hershey kiss for each day in December.
BADDER: You’ve got Advent calendar with chocolate chip cookie for each day in December.
WORSTEST: You’ve got Advent calendar with cheeseball for each day in December.

BAD: You nibbled a bit too much at holiday party.
BADDER: You’ve had a few drinks and a couple plates of party food.
WORSTEST: You pulled up a chair to the buffet table.

BAD: You ate a miniature candy cane.
BADDER: You ate a regular-sized candy cane.
WORSTEST:  You ate a candy cane that’s bigger than your leg.

BAD: You’ve put off marathon training because it’s too cold.
BADDER: You’ve put off 5K training becaue it’s too cold.
WORSTEST: You’re training for a “Glee” marathon.

BAD:  Your sweaters are getting a little tight.
BADDER: You can’t button any of your jeans.
WORSTEST: You’ve got a layered look going before you get dressed.

BAD: At Starbucks, you order Gingerbread Latte with skim, but with whipped cream.
BADDER: At Starbucks, you order a regular Gingerbread Latte with whipped cream.
WORSTEST: At Starbucks, you order regular Gingerbread Latte with gingerbread house.

BAD: You popped a button.
BADDER: You ripped your pants.
WORSTEST: You broke Santa’s lap.

BAD:  You pour eggnog on your breakfast cereal.
BADDER: You ate candy from child’s stocking and blamed it on the dog.
WORSTEST: Friend points out that you’re wearing Christmas tree skirt.

BAD: You ate the chocolates that were supposed to go in the kids’ stocking.
BADDER: You ate the cinnamon buns you were saving for Christmas morning.
WORSTEST: You ate the mistletoe.

BAD: You let your gym membership expire.
BADDER: You’re using your workout DVDs as Christmas ornaments.
WORSTEST: You’ve asked Santa for an industrial-sized FryDaddy.

BAD: You had to poke a new hole in your belt.
BADDER: You wear sweatpants to Christmas Mass.
WORSTEST: You had to let out your Santa Claus costume.

BAD: You can’t stand up to watch entire holiday parade.
BADDER: Other carolers point out that your mouth is full of taffy.
WORSTEST: You go for sleigh ride and two horses keel over dead.

BAD:  You ate half a fruitcake.
BADDER: You chugged a quart of boiled custard.
WORSTEST: You ate the cookies your children left out for Santa… while they watched.















19 comments:

  1. So funny... I am linking you from my FB page. Thanks for making me smile!

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  2. "You broke Santa's lap"..."You ate a candycane bigger than your leg"...

    I'm laughing so hard the guys in the office think I've flipped.

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  3. But...those DVDs look so pretty and SHINY on the tree!

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  4. LOL! The hibernation idea doesn't sound half bad on those cold days. ;)

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  5. wow, never thought of pulling a chair up to the buffet table--classic! :-D

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  6. Eating the mistletoe. Classic. Thought I'd share my own with you. I may have over done it.

    BAD: You made Christmas Cookies for everyone and then secretly snuck your finger in the frosting for a lick.

    BADDER: When the kids left the room you quickly dunked several cookies in the frosting like it was dip.

    WORST: You ate all the cookie dough raw and then sat on the kitchen floor sobbing into a bowl of frosting (that you're currently eating) and crying while singing "Santa Baby" in your best self loathing (albeit Christmasy) voice.

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  7. I laughed in real life and everything.

    Layered look before you get dressed really got me, though. I hope that's not me!

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  8. Hilarious as usual Jack - you make me smile ;-)

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  9. "You pour eggnog on your breakfast cereal." Ewww!!!

    Good: You were IN the holiday parade - walking while pushing a stroller.
    Better: You just ran a 5k.
    Best: You're planning on buying youself a new wardrobe for Christmas because everything is too loose.

    Just looking on the postive side! Merry Christmas, Jack!

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  10. I cant eat the missel toe toooo? darn

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  11. haha cant spell it either lmao

    *mistletoe

    its late my brain shut off an hour ago

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  12. Love it. I'm fighting off the urge to go into hibernation... Thanks for the giggle! ::grin::

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  13. Sign me up for the cheeseball advent calendar!!!

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  14. dude, my cheeseball is epic...and darn tasty. I was laughing hard at the candy cane one because I have been having one a day (only 40 calories) but the one as big as a leg...probably more.

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  15. Don't be dissin my advent calendar; cheeseballs are very spiritual to me.

    - Kirsten
    @RNTgirl
    http://Results-Not-Typical-Girl.com

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