Showing posts with label whole foods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label whole foods. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Things That'll Get You Kicked Out of Whole Foods

• Putting 25 pounds of pistachios through the coffee grinder

• Continually trying to do that trick that cartoon monkeys do where you squirt a banana out of its skin and up into the air, then catch it in your mouth and eat it in a single gulp

• Getting black lentils from the bulk bin but writing down the code for brown lentils on the tag

• Squirting the tester patchouli lotion down your pants

• Jugging exotic cheeses

• Loudly asking produce guy difference between "organic" and "whoreganic" vegetables

• Attempting to pay for your groceries with coupons for free hugs

• Insisting that your groceries be sacked in bag you made yourself from collection of stripper thongs

• Demanding that you need to be led around store by your seeing-eye wolverine

• Standing in two grocery carts, one foot in each, and trying to skate around store

• Screaming at store manager that you demand to get a 40% blogger discount


THE DAILY SCALEY
Hmmmm... you better have a good reason this, fella!

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