• “I’m sorry, but Jamie Oliver says they use that pink slime to make Girl Scout cookies and I’m not supposed to buy them anymore.”
• “I’m sorry, but what part of ‘Look, I’ll cut a b*tch’ did you not understand?”
• “I’m sorry, but if I bought a box of cookies from you, I’d have to buy a box from the other 10,000 million Girl Scouts all over the world. Fair’s fair!”
• “I wish you girls would get whoever makes the Boy Scouts’ sh*tty popcorn to make your cookies. Those guys could screw up a wet dream.”
• “You can stick that box where the sun doesn’t Do-Si-Do!”
• “Sorry, but I spent my last $5 buying a box of beef jerky from the Jehovah’s Witnesses.”
• “I’d like to support you, but I just don’t eat cookies anymore; can I just write you a bad check instead?”
• “GET BACK, SATAN!”
• “I know it’s a good cause, but I need cookies like I need a box of Girl Scout cookies.”
• “Look, I’ve got three daughters; I’m not afraid to slap a little girl.”
• “No, no, no… a thousand times NO. Ummm… well, maybe just one box of Somoas…”
