Tips for a Healthy Vacation

 • Instead of clothes, pack your suitcase full of fresh chard.



• If you hear the theme song from Jaws,  immediately get out of the water.



 • A couple of margaritas has as many calories as eight fast food tacos; however, a couple of margaritas has half as many calories as a couple of margaritas and eight fast food tacos.

• To protect yourself from UV rays, choose sunglasses that block at least 99% of UVA and UVB rays or squirt 40-block sunscreen directly into your eyes.

 • If you’re on a cruise, stand by rail and keep constant watch for icebergs.

 • Drink plenty of water, but be mindful of of Recreational Water Illnesses (RWIs). RWIs can be found in swimming pools, lakes, rivers, hot tubs, decorative fountains and in the ocean, and can be spread by swallowing, breathing or coming into contact with contaminated water. On second thought, steer clear of any and all water. Run away! RUN AWAY!

 • Change diapers in a bathroom and not on the deli counter of a grocery store.

 • On a long car trip, it’s a good idea to tie a second car to the back of your auto to use in case of car trouble.

 • It’s easy to get medications mixed up with your travel stuff; a simple solution is just take a week’s worth of all your pills before you leave.

 • If you’re at the pool, it’s vitally important that you watch me when I dive. WATCH! I'M ABOUT TO GO! ARE YOU WATCHING? CANNONBALL!

THE DAILY SCALEY

 Decision not to participate
in hot-dog eating contest paid off! Yes!

 

Taking My Show On The Road

As an everyday blogger for the past two and a half years, I’ve been pretty much like a buffet at a Chinese restaurant; it may not always be good (or tasteful), but there’s always plenty of crap on the table.

That said, I looked at my schedule for October and saw a trip to South Bend (including attending my first Notre Dame football game), three golf tournaments, some big projects on a tight timetable and a two-week anniversary trip all over Italy with my lovely wife Anita.

I sat down and said to myself, “Jack, you need to crank out a month’s worth of content or - if you’re gonna be a lazy-ass - pre-load a bunch of old posts.”

After thinking it over for roughly six seconds, I chose Option B. Truthfully, I could use a break and if I hadn’t mentioned it, you may never have noticed it. My posts are kind of all-the-same and forgettable, after all.

If I can remember to take notes while out of the country, I plan to temporarily convert my weight-loss/healthy living blog into a travel journal. Goodbye, Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit; Hello, Jack Sh*taly, Goin’ to Italy!

Oh, and I’m not packing a scale…

But allow me to go out on a high note: here’s a guest post called "25 Ways to Improve Your Crappy Life" that I wrote for the super-fantastic Joyce Cherrier over at Freaking Fitness. It’s one of my most… well, it’s… okay, it’s pretty much like all my other posts.

Man, I need a vacation…




P.S. I do plan on updating Jack Sh*t Lite some throughout the month. My baby blog is too little to be left all by itself...

How to Lose Weight At An All-Inclusive Cancun Resort

You can’t.

Suffering from PVS (Post-Vacation Syndrome)

I got a couple of weeks ahead on this blog and then took off for a rip-roaring vacation in the Pacific Northwest. I planned to write a few posts while I was goofing off, but I wound up underestimating my own laziness.

So as it turns out, I got nothing in the pantry for you today… no silly songs or Gettysburg Addresses, no TV show rewrites or hilarious jokey jokes for you. Check back tomorrow when we should have some fresh goodies back in the case.

So today I think I’ll just yak…

I thought that going on long hikes through Glacier National Park would lead to big, stirring thoughts about this journey we’re all on together. Would lead to some stunning new revelations, some breathtakingly fresh ideas.

Instead, I rewrote all the John Denver songs in my head with new lyrics (but to my credit, I immediately threw them all away…).

What actually happened was that I got away from my obsession with healthy living and exercise and dieting and blogging for a bit. I took a deep, cleansing breath of fresh mountain air and I enjoyed the magnificence of Nature with a capital “N”. This part of the world is too big, too majestic, too magnificent for any lower-case descriptions.

I quit thinking about what and how much I was putting in my mouth and tried to just not go ape-sh*t crazy with the choices. Oh, I ate too much, drank too much and didn’t really give any of it much of a thought in the process. I can’t say I was as good as I should have been, but I definitely enjoyed myself.

This is a lifelong journey for us, and a lifetime’s a helluva long time. That’s my takeaway from the past week anyway.

There will be solid weeks and bad weeks, all kinds of highs, all sorts of lows.

But we’ll keep moving forward.

We’ll keep pushing and pushing and pushing…

It occurs to me that this is the point in the program where I usually start my inexplicable, out-of-control ascent back to obesity. This is generally the point where all the good work I’ve put in goes out the window.

Not this time.

Not this time.

Not this time.

I backslid a little this past week, of that I’m quite certain. I drank coffee most mornings and enjoyed desserts most evenings. I had some tempura sushi (what?) and picked up a few items in the most decadent chocolate shop I’ve ever stepped foot inside.

I even drank a $7 lukewarm beer on the flight home and enjoyed every drop.

But tomorrow’s a new day.

A brand new day.

And I’m looking forward to it.

Hijacked