Tips to Boost Your Metabolism

• Instead of doing a “hop, skip and a jump,” do a “hop, skip, gambol, leap, dash, vault romp, prance and a jump.”

• Eat an AA battery for breakfast.

• Don’t skip meals (waitaminute… do people actually do this? Skip meals? Really? Wow…)

• Get off your butt. No, I’m sorry… I meant GET OFF YOUR BUTT!

• Go to bed the night before.

• Starving yourself actually slows down your metabolism, though not quite as much as eating a quart of cheese dip and watching a Storage Wars marathon.

• Coffee drinkers have a 16% higher metabolic rate than those who abstain, according to a study published in Folgers Scientific-Looking Studies.

• Chewing celery actually burns more calories than you take in (especially if you spit it out like I do).

• Drink a 5-hr energy drink every five hours.