Even More Ways to Make Your Kids Eat Healthier

• Two choices: eat this celery stalk or get slapped by it!

• Take out the Pop-Tart filling and replace with mashed sweet potato.

• Take them to a slaughterhouse to show them just how sausage is made, or if you really want to shake them up, take them to your job and show them how money to buy sausage is made.

• Tell your child that eating broccoli is like “eating a little tree”; if he replies, “Why would I want to eat a little tree?” then you should answer, “Just shut up and eat the stupid broccoli!”

• Though it can get expensive, my “quarter-per-pea” method generally gets results.

• Start calling Brussels sprouts “baby boom-boom cabbages.”

• Every time your children take a bite of something unhealthy, clang cymbals together loudly right behind their heads.

• Remember, you get more success by using the carrot than the stick (except when trying to get kids to eat carrots; the stick is definitely the way to go there).

• There’s a simple way to get kids to like eggplant (I just don’t know what it is…).

• Kids learn by watching their parents, so you really to learn to pretend you’re enjoying eating vegetables.

How To Be a Health-Conscious Parent

• Kids learn eating habits by watching their parents, so be sure to hide in the closet while wolfing down that family-size bag of peanut M&Ms.

• Limit television to 17 hours a day.

• Introduce new foods by helping kids make a connection to foods they already like; for instance, “This is celery, the banana’s learning-disabled cousin.”

• Encourage active play like biking, swimming and ditch-digging.

• No more fishsticks for breakfast (except on special occasions or weekends).

• Small children love to spend active time running around at the park. Just remember to pick ‘em up after the movie’s over.

• Buy a box of one of those crazy, colorful cereals that kids love, pour it all in the trash and replace it with one of those healthy options in the Natural Foods section, such as Flaxseed Flakes or Quinoa Puffs. They’ll never know you pulled a switcheroo!

• Make parsnip puppets.

• An easy way to make kids eat all their vegetables is to tell that you’ll take ‘em to Disneyland next week if they’ll eat them. Note: this will only work two or three times before they wise up.

• If your child won't take a vitamin, hide it inside a raisin. If he/she doesn't like raisins, hide the raisin inside a deviled egg. Doesn't like deviled eggs? Hide the deviled egg inside some s'mores. C'mon, all kids like s'mores!