A Few More Famous Movie Lines, Jack Sh*t-Style

“Shane. Shane! Come back! You can’t have that whole box of ice cream sandwiches, Shane!”

“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna… get your damn hands off that chocolate, mister!”

“Today I consider myself the healthiest man on the face of the earth.”

“I’ll have what she’s having. And what he’s having.”

“There’s no place like Hooter’s.”

“Here’s looking at food, kid.”

“I have had it with these motherf^%ing gains on this motherf#$%ing scale!”

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. His pants seem to have ripped in the seat…”

“Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was heart disease brought on by a high-fat diet and a sedentary lifestyle that killed the Beast.”

“As God is my witness, I’ll always be hungry again.”

“There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me, ‘keep your friends close, your enemies closer and that Velvetta cheese far, far away.’”

“You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? A huge mistake.”

“I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let… ohhhhh… is that a croissant?”

“Get away from those chips, you bitch!”

“Yippie kay-yay, butter-lover.”

Even More Famous Movie Lines, Jack Sh*t-Style

• “Lawzy, we gots to have a dietitian. I don't know nothin’ ‘bout countin’ no calories!”

• “Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel loses a pound.”

• “I'll be back… after my workout!”


• “My momma always said, bloggers was like a box of chocolates–all different kinds and most full of nuts.”


• “Well, I believe in the diet, the blog, the push-up, that muscle at the small of a woman's back, high fiber, plenty of water, that these lists by Jack Sh*t are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Jack LeLanne was a fitness pioneer. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing High Fructose Corn Syrup and the McDonald’s Happy Meal. I believe in the sweat spot, low-fat salad dressing, doing your weigh-in once a week rather than every day and I believe in long, slow, deep, hard, workouts that last three hours.”


• “You're gonna need a smaller butt.”

• “I'll make him an sandwich he can't refuse.”

• “Soylent Green is people… but it’s low-fat and gluten-free.”

• “The first rule of Bite Club is - you do not blog about Bite Club. The second rule of Bite Club is - you DO NOT eat Chinese food the day before a weigh-in.”

 •  “When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, my weigh-in sucks.”


• “Yo, Adrian. Let’s just grab a salad tonight.”


• “You're a lean, mean, dieting machine!”


• “I wish I knew how to quit juice.”


• “I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to eat this anymore.”


• “They call me Mister Tibbs and I no longer drink Mister Pibbs.” (Wait… do they still make Mister Pibbs? What about Tab?)


• “Houston, we have weight problem.”


• “Shaken, not stirred… on second thought,  I’ll have a Mango Bobango Smoothie with a vitamin boost.”


• “On my signal, unleash hell… on the treadmill!”

• “I see fat people.”


• “I am going to chop this piece of tilapia up into 42 pieces.”


• “Gluttony, definitely my favorite sin.”


• “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful weight-loss journey.”


More Famous Movie Lines (Jack Sh*t-Style)

• “Spartans! Eat hearty... because tonight we dine at Red Lobster!”

• “Love means never having to say you're sorry you ate the entire wedding cake.”
  
  
• “We who are about to diet, salute you!”
  
  
• “E.T. phone pizza.”
  
  
• “And I will have my veal parmesan, in this life or the next.”
  
  
• “Today, I consider myself the heaviest man on the face of the earth.”
  
  
• “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and your cinnamon buns even closer.”
  
  
• “My precious… pizza rolls.”
  
  
• “There is no spoon. How am I gonna eat my ice cream?”
  
  
• “You've got a real pretty mouth. And I’ve got a lot of pretty cupcakes.”
  
  
• “Ye’d best start believin’ in successful weight-loss stories, Miss. Yer in one”
  
  
• “Either get busy eating, or get busy dieting.”
  
  
• “Pasta la vista, baby.”
  
  
• “I’d rather kiss a wookie… I mean, a cookie.”
  
  
• “If I tell you what I weigh, I’ll have to kill you.”
  
  
• “Open the microwave door, HAL.”
  
  
• “Nobody puts baby back ribs in a corner.”
  
  
• “Show me the baloney”
  
  
• “Hakuna Potato.”
  
  
• “Sugar-delic! Do I make you hungry, baby?”
  
  
• “There’s no plate like ham.”
  
  
• “If you bake it, he will come.”
  
  
• I see dead people… and caramel apples.”
  
  
• “I am Spartacustard!”