After over fifty years on this earth, I no longer have a landline in my home.
Goodbye, telemarketers calling during dinner.
Goodbye, college that I paid too much money to calling and begging for money.
Goodbye, nice young lady who just wants a few minutes of my time to answer a survey.
Goodbye, foreign-sounding guy who can save me a ton on my credit card bills but needs my credit number before doing so.
Goodbye, cordless phone receivers that hide throughout my house.
Goodbye, cordless phone receivers that, when I do find them, have no charge left.
Goodbye, vintage black rotary-dial kitchen phone that gives you a finger blister if you try to make a long-distance call.
Goodbye, wrong numbers that hang up without apologizing.
Goodbye, noxious political robo-calls.
Goodbye, ability to satisfyingly slam down the receiver in a huff.
Goodbye, annoying ring that disturbs my naps and shortens my showers.
Goodbye, unknown callers who forever remain unknown.
Goodbye, answering machine that we turned off over a year ago.
Goodbye, last phone number I will ever know by heart.