Monday, May 13, 2013

More Tips for Eating Healthier at Restaurants

• Spit is extremely low-calorie so be sure to berate your waitress, complain endlessly and send the entrée back at least twice.

• This may come as something of a shock to you, but fried cheese has quite a few calories and an excess of fat.

• Asking for your salad dressing served on the side is a healthier option and worth putting up with the waiter smirking “Here you go, Little Lord Fancybritches.”

• Don’t order pie a la mode a la mode.

• It’s easier not to overeat if you order something you really don’t like.

• Soup can be made more low calorie by pouring your glass of water into the bowl.

• Resist the urge to wheel the dessert cart out into the back alley and scarf up everything on it.

• Don’t order any entrée that has a defribulator symbol next to it on the menu.

13 comments:

  1. I never thought about the spit one! But so true.

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  2. May I still order my dressing on the side if I make sure to ask whether it's locally sourced, organic, gluten free, and loved by its mother?

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  3. Funny read! Like the water in the soup!

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  4. Hey yea and wonder how often cook washes hands ... but I really love you eat something you dont like... hey that not why I head off to restaurants to eat something I dont really like, but great way to eat less :o)

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  5. Good points! But adding water to a delicious soup, I would hate to do that! never mind the calories. But yes staying away from deserts and ordering the stuff you do not like much are great pieces of advice.

    Drinking lots of water before your meal can also make you feel a little full and stop you from eating much.

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  6. Your site is super funny! Came over from Yum Yucky! Enjoyed all the laughs Shaft of sorts!

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  7. hahaha, your site never fails to crack me up!

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  8. Haha, water in the soup definitely helps!

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  9. you sir are hilarious!!!!! Im sharing your blog.

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  10. Haha, good stuff. I'm glad I found your blog...definitely adds some humor to my day!

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  11. You never fail to crack me up Jack! Your tips are definitely amusing but they’re all true. But I think berating waitress may be off. Although it may help to lose pounds, I’m going to think first before doing it. Well, it could be a dare or a consequence instead.

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  12. Hilarious!! Great tips. Will pass this on.

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