Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Life Goals, Revised

Well, I’m turning the big FIVE-OHHHHHH today, so I thought it was the proper time to take inventory of my life goals and give them a reality adjustment.

Previous goal: Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro
Revised goal:  Find out where Mt. Kilimanjaro is

Previous goal: Run a half-marathon
Revised goal: Run a half- half- half- half- half- half- half-marathon

Previous goal: Learn to speak Italian
Revised goal: Learn to speak Pig Latin

Previous goal: Make a million dollars
Revised goal: Win a million dollars (come on, Powerball!)

Previous goal:
Live fast, die young and leave a beautiful corpse
Revised goal: Slow down, die old and leave a beautiful corpse

Previous goal: Invent a better mousetrap
Revised goal: Learn to live with mice

Previous goal: See the Northern Lights
Revised goal: See everything in the Netflix library

Previous goal: Travel the world
Revised goal: Watch basketball in my underwear

Previous goal: Be a better friend
Revised goal: Tell everybody I know to go to hell

Previous goal: Learn to play the guitar
Revised goal: Learn to play air guitar

Previous goal: Stop procrastinating
Revised goal: Eventually stop procrastinating

Previous goal: Write the great American novel
Revised goal: Write Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit

23 comments:

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR JAAAAACK!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

    And many more! Enjoy the day! Steer clear of cake! ;)

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  2. Happy birthday!!! It's good to re-evaluate those goals every now and then - you even have that last one nailed :)

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  3. LOL! revised goals were really realistic and hilarious. I loved your half marathon goal.

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  4. Happy Happy Birthday! Hilarious as always!

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  5. Happy Birthday and welcome to the five o club!

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  6. LOL! This was very funny. Who wrote that? ;)

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  7. Previous goal: Be a perfect mother
    Revised goal: pick up the correct children from school

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  8. Appy-hay Elated-bay Irthday-bay!

    Absolutely love this list; afraid all my life goals have been tweaked too.

    Previous goal: Write a best-selling novel!
    New goal: Write a grocery list and actually remember to take it to the store!

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  10. Happy Birthday!! Thanks for filling our inboxes with laughter and fun! Hope you enjoy today!!

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  11. LOVE!!! I need to revise some thing! :) Hope the bday was fantastic!

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  12. Happy Birthday!! life begins at 50 or is it 40. Doesn't matter as long as you are doing your part to being a good person. I like your list, quite funny.

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  13. We are almost the same age? That can't be! You look like an adult and I'm just a kid! Weird!
    Happy Birthday!

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  15. Happy Bday hun. I could do with looking at my life goals really and switching them up abit.

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  16. Happy birthday (two days ago)! I love the humor you put into this! It's funny how your goals change as you get older.

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