• Keep a giant wooden mallet on your nightstand and give yourself a stiff konk on the head at bedtime, just hard enough to knock yourself out but not so hard that you do serious damage.
• Eat supper in bed.
• Fix yourself a steaming cup of herbal NyQuil.
• Use a really comfortable pillow dipped in chloroform.
• If you’re using a vertical mattress, try switching to a horizontal one.
• Quit brushing your teeth with Red Bull.
• Keep your bedroom quiet, dark, and comfortable instead of loud, bright and uncomfortable.
• Cut out at least one of your after-dinner naps.
• Read the guidelines from the National Sleep Foundation… talk about boooooring.
• Visualize something restful, such as sheep taking a bath in warm milk.
• The amino acid tryptophan is a natural sedative, so eat three or four turkey legs right before bedtime.
