How Committed Am I Now?

• I am infinity percent committed.
• I have completely given up on the idea of ever giving up.
• I am committed with a capital “K”.
• When I am lying cold in my grave, I will still be trying with all my might not to gain weight.
• I am so determined that my nickname is The Determinator.
• I have more purpose than a porpoise (wow, that made sense at 2 a.m. when I wrote it…).
• The three most committed people I know? Me, myself and Ira, the guy that cuts my hair.
  
• I’ve so committed, I make Braveheart look like Afraidheart.
• If I fail, I guarantee that I will give every single reader here his or her money back.
• “The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor” (I am so committed right now that I completely plagiarized this Vince Lombardi quote).
• I have more focus than an optometrist.
• My wife says I have “fearless commitment” and I think that just about sums it… huh? What’s that, Anita? You said “fear of commitment”? Will you please stay outta this?
• I am dauntless. Yes, that means that I am completely without daunts.
• You might be committed, but I’m even committeder.
• My backbone is forged out of titanium and reinforced with… um… more titanium.
• If I were a superhero, I would be Commitment-Man… no… Commander Commitment… no wait… Captain Commitment.
• “Commitment” is my middle name (not really… “F’n” is my middle name… it’s short for “Franklin”).

How Committed Am I?

Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, where everything old is new again! People have asked me about my secret to losing over 90 lbs over the past 40 weeks, and usually I just tell 'em about the eating less, eating healthier and exercising more parts of the program. What I seldom mention is the role commitment plays in a successful weight-loss journey. It is the booster rocket that sends your space shuttle into the stratosphere!

• I am 1,000,000% committed
• I will work 25/8/366 …that’s right, 25 hours a day, eight days a week, 366 days a year (except for Leap Year, in which I will work 367 days!)
• I believe there is no “I” in “failure”
• I am so committed, I make a couple’s 50th wedding anniversary look like a first date
• I ripped the page with “quit” on it out of the dictionary (can somebody help me spell quintecential, quentisental, quentasential…grrrrrr)
• There’s an old saying: “An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.” Well, I’m going to deliver 10 gallons of performance, which is worth, like, 100 pounds of promises.
• I’m getting a tattoo that says “Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek” on my ring finger.
• I am infinity times infinity plus infinity committed
• If I wrote a hip-hop song, it would be called “Committed 2 My B*tches,” because 1) it needs to have a naughty word in the title in order for it to be successful and 2) it’s a love story.
• If commitment could be represented as a color, I would be crimson-violet with a streak of teal.
• Suicide bombers write to me all the time and ask “D*mn, how can I be as committed as you, brother?”
• Consider a breakfast served to you of ham and eggs. The chicken is involved in the breakfast. The pig is committed. I am ten times more committed than that pig.
• When you go to www.100-percent-commitment.com, it would redirect to this blog site if I had had the foresight to buy that domain name a few years ago when it was available.
• If you could see my face right now, you’d see that I’m gritting my teeth in an expression of absolute total commitment.
• I will never, ever give up… and if I do ever give do give up, I promise I will shoot myself in the face with a water gun filled with honey and stick my entire head in a fire ant hole… but I won’t because I will never, ever give up…and if I do, I’ll do the fire ant thing…but I won’t because I just won’t!*

*And if I do, FIRE ANTS!

I Am Even More Committed Than I Was Before

• I am 10,000,000% committed.
• If my commitment were represented as a bowling score, it would be 301.
• My license plate reads “KAMMINT” (okay, the first nine I requested were already taken)
• I am not only going to talk the talk and walk the walk, but I’m also going to balk the balk and chalk the chalk.
• My level of commitment makes a celibate monk look like Hugh Hefner after a Viagra sandwich.
• If you threw a golf ball into a bottomless hole and measured when it hit the ground, THAT times two would be close to my level of dedication.
• The Obama administration strongly considered me to head up the Government Task Force on Commitment, but decided my insanely high commitment level would overshadow the commitment committee’s work and quite possibly cause a financial crisis.
• Each morning, I begin the day with a staring contest with my reflection.
• I no longer use the words “ ,” “ ” or “ - .”
• I am Evil-Knievel-jumping-the-Snake-River committed.
• I am Houdini-handcuffed-and-thrown-down-Niagara-Falls committed.
• I am more committed to losing weight than a TV weatherman is to his Doppler Radar.
  
• Every morning, I ratchet up my commitment one more notch.
• I am to commitment what bacon is to the BLT.
• They say “never say never”, but what I say is “Never say ‘never say never” (I may have lost my point on that one…)
• If I wrote a hip-hop song, it would be called “Committed 2 My B*tches,” because 1) it needs to have a naughty word in the title in order for it to be successful and 2) it’s a love story.
• If commitment could be represented as a color, I would be crimson-violet with a streak of teal.
• Suicide bombers write to me all the time and ask “D*mn, how can I be as committed as you, brother?”
• They say the finest steel must go through the hottest fire. I have been through Hell’s pizza oven. Twice.