Here comes Jackie Too-Fat-Tail,
Eatin’ as much as a humpback whale.
Hippity hoppity, damn, how much you weigh?
Chompin’ cheese dip by the bowls,
Baskets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Things that make big him as New York Bay.
He eats jelly rolls for breakfast
And a Snickers bar or two.
A bag of chips before lunchtime
Plus a diet soda, too!
Oh! Here comes Jackie Too-Fat-Tail,
Gettin’ back on that healthy trail
Hippity hoppity, it’s a brand new day.
Here comes Jackie Smaller-Tail
Will sometimes falter, but never fail.
Hippity hoppity, Jackie’s on his way!