Monday, January 9, 2017

Jackie Hears a Wha?

On the 15th of May, in a restaurant of Thai
In the hour of his lunch, his plate piled sky-high.
He was eating… enjoying a buffet devastation.
When Jackie the blogger boy had a revelation.

Ol’ Jackie stopped chewing,
He looked like a dum-dum.
“That’s funny,” thought Jackie.
“A noise from my tum-tum.”

Then he heard it again!
Just a very faint shout
As if some tiny person
Were cussing him out.

“What’s the prob?” muttered Jackie.
“And just what are you? What?”
As he listened to the noise
And rubbed a hand on his gut.
He heard a small sizzle, like some kind of fire
That came from inside an industrial fryer.

“I say!” murmured Jackie. “I’ve got a few questions.
What’s a small spark of fire doing in my intestines?
Why is it there when it wasn’t there prior?
There must some reason for that small spark of fire!
Maybe a manifestation of my hopes and fears.
Perhaps it’s a message that’s just for my ears.”

Turns out that it wasn’t a fire at all.
Or a tiny little person making a call.
It was just that I’d eaten with way too much zeal.
Chowing down on my thai food at my midday meal.
Just shoveling it in my piehole faster and faster.
My body was saying, “Slow down, you dumb bastard.”

It’s a lesson I just thought that I should mention.
You should listen when your body tries to get your attention.
Eat what you should, let good health be your guide.
And enjoy peace and quiet (at least from inside).


  1. Oh goody! I've come wandering back to the Health and Fitness interwebs after a long period of neglect, and I'm so glad to discover that one of the most cleverest, wittiest, and most amusingest of bloggers is still here! (OK: grammar, not a strong suit.)

    Hope the repercussions of Thai-ing one on have now subsided!


    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.



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