Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Signs Your Personal Trainer Isn't Up to Snuff

• Sits on your stomach and trims his toenails while you’re doing bench presses

• Eats three caramel apples during your session

• Speaks to you in language he made up himself

• Spends an hour working on your “shintoid” muscles

• Spends first thirty minutes trying to convince you professional wrestling isn't fake

• Makes you hold funnel while he pours tequila into his water bottle

• Carries clipboard, but only thing on it is a beat-up copy of Hustler magazine

• Wants you to do set of five “Fire Alarm Pulls”

• Yanks your pants down while you’re trying to chin-ups

• Finishes every sentence with “according to the prophecy”

• His “kettlebell” is a grapefruit with a duct-tape handle

• Offers to be paid in meth.

• Counts “1…2…8…9… 10!”

• Advertises on Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit.

1 comment:

  1. I've seen a personal trainer at the gym talking on the phone while supposed to be training someone. Even if your client is just warming up on the treadmill, they are paying for your undivided attention!

    I think my shintoids need some work.



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